Category Journal

18+ years of writings from Markus Nylund’s life. Real, raw, unfiltered. Thoughts, fragments, truths. The logbook of a working artist building from scratch and overcoming perfectionism, self-sabotage and sharing what it takes to rise back up again and again.

Aug 28, 2008

wealth – money relationships – friends – family – girlfriends – society health – physical – mental All the important areas of my life are completely fucked up. I have no money. My so called friends are scattered and i…

Aug 24, 2008

I am in a weird fucking mood man. I am angry and just frustrated. It’s all this bullshit in my head again stirring up. Yes I am aware that it is just in the mind and body that I experience…

Nobody Knows Me

I am kind of agitated. I don’t know if it’s adrenaline or what. My father has always been a strong authorative figure in my family. I have never been close to him. He is almost a stranger to me. I…

When I’m Drinking I Am Sinking

Just finished watching Heat. It is a great film but at times it seems to me a bit unrealistic. But I love the feeling in the whole film. And I find the characters very interesting and also interesting is the…

Mating Rituals

It’s time to stop lying to myself. Everything I think, do, say, sing is all bullshit because everything contradicts each other. One song sings how great love is and life and then the next song how stupid everything is. Of…

Bottom of The Ocean

I’m so fucking unstable. I get excited about things and if I stop being that person, excitement is the last thing I feel for that thing. What the fuck is wrong with me? I haven’t had alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, meat…

Society Is Slavery

I think many people don’t realize how messed up and confused they are. I think the reason for my mood swings is the fact that I do realize it. We live in a world of contradictions. We strive for happiness…

Troubadour Troubles

I am sitting in cabin of cruiseship I am playing on. I just did a set and I am now on my 15 minute break. I really hate this job. I have been here since Friday evening and by this…

What Is Success?

I am listening to Neil Young & Crazy Horse “Live at Filmore East”. I think it was recorded in 1971 but wasn’t released until this year. What an amazing album. I never used to be a big fan of Neil…

Man Created God

i am a man of science. i don’t believe in a god. i believe in nature. nature designed everything by a process called natural selection. the laws and patterns that guide everything we do from falling down to a developing…