Category Journal

18+ years of writings from Markus Nylund’s life. Real, raw, unfiltered. Thoughts, fragments, truths. The logbook of a working artist building from scratch and overcoming perfectionism, self-sabotage and sharing what it takes to rise back up again and again.

Nov 10, 2008

i hate this fucking house. it’s always freezing in here. i almost decided to leave. well i did decide but then i decided i won’t because i realized it’s not really that bad. i am listening to Blues Oyster Cult.…

Nov 6, 2008

(to Dez) It has been a good week for me so far. Been playing everyday, working out hard, practising, reading, sleeping well, did an open mic last night. Saturday I am going to see Ryan Adams. I’ve been going to…

Nov 3, 2008

Life has gotten real. I am sitting in my Dublin home. It is cold in here. I am wearing a coat and gloves and a hat to be more warm. I am listening to The Beatles. Eating Heinz beans. Looking…

Nov 1, 2008

I have failed. When I recorded my album Lions in the summer of 2007, I hoped that it would take off and spread on it’s own. It hasn’t done that. I feel like I have actually gone backwards. I am…

Oct 29, 2008

I write to you because there is nowhere else to turn. My mind is in a bad state right now and it’s actually been like this for awhile now. So yes this is probably all coming from my emotions. Whatever.…

Oct 14, 2008

I am sitting in my room. A week ago my manager gave me a great piece of advice. He said “Imagine if you didn’t speak for three years, you kept everything to yourself. All your opinions, your darkness, your light.…

Oct 1, 2008

I don’t feel good today. I don’t like my life, i hate my clothes, i hate my face, i hate my songs, i just don’t like anything today. I don’t feel like doing anything. I want to drink to escape…

Sep 13, 2008

Saturday morning. Everybody is sleeping in the house I am crashing at. Came to Dublin on wednesday night. All I have been doing since then has been drinking. I realized that drinking makes me really depressed. Yesterday we found a…

Sep 7, 2008

I’m not the smartest guy there is but I make up for that in my humility. Yesterday I played the wedding show in England, got paid 400pounds for playing two 45minute sets. As usual, a crowd like that was more…

Aug 31, 2008

I write here because I have important things to say to you. For me, speaking about my thoughts is much more challenging then writing them down privately. However, how this information reaches you, is unimportant. I apologize to those that…