wealth
– money
relationships
– friends
– family
– girlfriends
– society
health
– physical
– mental
All the important areas of my life are completely fucked up. I have no money. My so called friends are scattered and i am only the outsider of all their tight groups and I am the friend who they hear from once or twice a year because I don’t contact people or let them know where I am. I have a family that does not know me because I won’t allow them to because I am afraid and a coward. I have no girls that could even potentially be my girlfriends because a) they don’t interest me b) there’s no girls in my life anyway c) i don’t even want a girlfriend. I am as much apart of this society as a zebra is apart of a herd of lions. I run from it yet I show interest in it’s flaws. But I do nothing. I kid myself that all this yoga and running will cure me but it won’t and it hasn’t. Besides, i am weak. I have no strength and no perseverence to run more than I should. My mental state is the reason all of this shit is happening to me. I am emotionally a wreck. I am fucking fucked up in the head and nobody can tell because everybody is so busy with their own pathetic lives.
So what am I still living for? Why do I still have hope inside me? Why why why? Why won’t anybody come into my life to help me? Why doesn’t all the books, videos, self help shit help me? I try to do what they tell me and I try and try yet I fail and fail and there is nowhere to go.
Tomorrow starts the day to drink my sorrows away. It’s the only thing I wait for.
I can’t even write any good songs anymore, my songs all suck anyway. I am such a fucking loser. I was a mistake to be born into this world. I am nothing but a burden to everyone. How can I go on?
I hate everybody and i hate this society, I just despise it all and don’t believe in anybody’s bullshit about love and happiness what a bunch of shit. We are all wild animals who would rape and kill each other if our lives depended on it. That’s my philosophy. Fuck you.
I’m so fucking angryyyyyyy. WHYYYYYYYYYY?