I am in a weird fucking mood man. I am angry and just frustrated. It’s all this bullshit in my head again stirring up. Yes I am aware that it is just in the mind and body that I experience this suffering and I am beyond all that shit.
The truth is i have been working so hard on all this spiritual mind body soul bullshit that i just feel like taking a break and getting drunk and stoned and fucked. I am a musician i need to ramble and be wild and crazy. I’m so sick of being with myself all the fucking time!
I feel like smoking a pack of cigarettes and drinking a bottle of jack daniels. I think i will do this next weekend when the house is all mine from fri to sunday. Hopefully i’ll get some company over here, maybe friends or cousins. Then i’ll walk to the local bar and get shitfaced and hopefully get a girl to come home with me so i can fuck their brains out. I want to have the biggest fucking hangover the next morning that i’ve ever had. I want to punish my body and turn my soul inside out.
Fuck all this shit. I feel like putting all my spiritual buddha guru yoga books in a pile and lighting a match and burn that bullshit. Then I want to bathe in money, sex, drugs and rock n roll.
hhahahaha, i’m so fucked up i don’t know how i’ve even gotten this far.
I just watched the Band Last Walz, fuck those guys are great. I am THAT type of musician. I would’ve fit into that band like a condom fits on a cock. ALthough i don’t think i can fit anywhere. That’s why i have such a hard time finding anything or any place in this life that i like for more than a week.
I have no idea what the future has in store for me. Maybe it will all go well. maybe i’ll end up hanging from a noose within the next 10 years. As long as i have a chance to make a couple masterpiece albums and leave my mark, i don’t really give a fuck what happens. In the end, THAT is what keeps me going.
Fuck you and fuck off.