Listening to Mahler. Got all his stuff on itunes a few weeks ago. Had a show last night at the university. This was my third show here. Getting better and better. Sunlight Heart is growing. Slowly but surely. Tomorrow go to Tartu for the first time…

It was kind of a good week. Photoshoot, liveshow, alcohol, weed, fucking a beautiful greek girl, more alcohol, more fans, more admiration, more confidence, blablablablablaa… So how much did I really go forward?  The music career certainly took some steps in the right direction. Of course,…

Lots of changes next monday. Begin medication for my deteriorating mental state. Hopefully I don’t turn into a zombie. This means I also have to quit drinking and smoking which will be actually good for me. I don’t like the way I act when I’m drunk.…

Horrible depression today. Lectures all day. Went to school but came home after the first one and decided to stay home all day. Want to quit school, quit everything, quit life, quit being me. I don’t want to do anything. I always feel like the feeling…

I have been in Tallin for 3 weeks now. Studying and drinking mostly. There’s been a few girls I’ve slept with and generally I think that is the prime motivator for me when going out. Yet that need is never fulfilled even if I just had…

(I started a facebook page again for university and my new life. I thought I’d write something in the ‘about me’ section and the following is what I came up with. However, I decided that it’s a bit too much and left it out. Nobody who…

been horribly depressed and anxious for the last few days with heavy mood swings contrasting from light to grey to bright sunshine to very dark. i knew that something must change and i knew what that change was but like all change, it resists with the…

The rock album format is dead. The cd is dead. The music ‘industry’ is dead. But music is not because something real can never die. I’m finally starting to realize this now although I have been silently aware of it for quite awhile. It takes sometime…

Feel much better today. Not sure if it was an allergy or something because now it’s raining and this seems to have helped. I usually have spring allergies in May but never June so maybe it was the flu. Who knows. I just hope it goes…

I’m sick. Nose is really runny and I can’t really do anything because of it which is quite irritating! It’s also unusual and unfortunate to be sick at this time of year. I have no idea how this happened. I tried to do some recording this…