Category Journal

i really don’t know anymore and it’s simultaneously very frightening and very, very exciting. i just wish i could disappear. i feel so god damn stuck. i have enough money to leave but then i wouldn’t have much anything anymore…

it’s a bitter loneliness that stabs my weary heart who would’ve thought that emptiness could hurt so much chocolate bar wrappers empty beer cans Bukowski books late night, early morning near-silent hum a scared little boy hiding behind this grizzly…

there’s one thing i would like to specifically have understood about me my creative output is like a faucet that runs sometimes the faucet is closed sometimes it is open sometimes the water is cold sometimes it’s hot and when…

For me to be an artist, I must suffer to a certain degree or else my art suffers. It’s the dilemma I face constantly but of which I have only recently become aware of. I have been caught up in…

recording going well. last week got everything working. now i am rolling. one song per day. that’s my objective. about 60 song to record. should take 2-3 months because some of the songs are more work than others. doesn’t mean…

dirty love cheap drugs fairy-tale friends invisible scars decadent worldview forever changing never complaining this beautiful misery that sleeps when tired wakes when wired eats when starving drinks to get drunk to make this living an easier swallow a volume…

like most of my writings, this is partly for myself. and to remind myself of certain things. kind of like those tattoos the guy got in the movie Memento to remind him who he was. maybe i just like to…

another dead end here i am again looking for the road that will take me nowhere but back to square one where i belong never made it too far i guess made an art out of getting lost oh what…

this band thing is quite a challenge. things are moving slow. i wrote down all the awe songs and potential ones and there’s about 30 of them. i’d really like to get them all recorded. our intention was to record…