armchair comedy improv
Are you ever walking around and you get an itch where the sun dont shine? You look around to make sure nobody’s around so you can do a weird ape scratch dance thingy and then a car appears out of…
Writings 2007-2025
Writings 2007-2025
Markus Nylund
5×5
1) QUICK FACTS ★ Born in Finland (1983), grew up in Canada ★ Lived in 5+ countries and travelled to 30+ ★ World-citizen: every place is home, humanity is my tribe ★ If I buy a gift for someone, it…
YOU ME US NOW
You I’m here to help you get everything you ever wanted. This includes: money, love, freedom, happiness, health, success and inner peace. You can choose what is the most important right now or I can help you decide. We can also focus on everything…
to know
if you thought you could know wouldn’t you want to know? YOU DESERVE THE BEST THAT THIS WORLD HAS TO OFFER. AND YOU DESERVE IT NOW. It’s time to stop messing around and watching netflix all day. it’s time to…
Coaching Service
I work 1-1 with people via skype or in-person if you want to come to Finland or fly me to wherever you are. I don’t mind either way. The initial consultation is free and will last however long it takes…
Writing advice
If you want to write, read Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov, The Possessed, Knut Hamsun’s Mysteries and The Growth of the Soil, Sartre’s Nausea, De Beauvoir’s All Men are Mortal, and Thomas Merton’s Seven Story Mountain, then imitate that. No one…
TOO GOOD
today i feel so good that it hurts and i don’t know what to do so i call this love i build churches and holy oceans walk the world barefoot go to family gatherings to share my poetry flash my…
movie days
alarm goes off you get up turn the damn thing off it’s early morning you feel foggy, heavy… but free you decide to take the day off go back to bed proud of this decision you fall asleep with a…
dummy
used to be a dumbass till i grew my brain learned to think for myself read the greats sit around trying to write these songs to unite the people remind you of the magic that lies beneath our lies i…
it’s all growing old
the universe is mommy’s nipple in the lips of a future madman god is shoetight kale softening in the microwave for 2 minutes love is the brown coffee residue on white cups scrubbed truth is an itchy ass secretly squirming…