because it represents a part of me i don’t like
this idiot child who is greedy and doesn’t give a fuck about anyone
especially all the non-human animals fat idiots eat
who suffer and are murdered so people can feel some stupid fake joy
there is no creativity in it, no beauty, no justice, no truth, NONE
it is a mass commercial glorification of everything that is wrong with this world
KILLING RITUAL CEREMONY OF DEATH
besides, jesus was completey insane
i would’ve crucified him too
i do like some of the old xmas songs
but even they are part of this fairy tale thing
yes it is nice and cozy and santa stuck in the chimney
i wrote this song when i was a teenager called “my xmas tree is on fire”
and i am always broke during xmas so it is a reminder of how i have failed in life
at least by the warped standards of modern tax paying normalcy
which i have rejected long ago
so even if i wanted to give gifts, i don’t have money
i dont have money because for me time is more valuable
and stillness, and silence
i try to remain calm and usually just think of myself as the gift
that keeps on giving
that stupid saying how they call now the present
because it is the greatest gift there is
but that is just in english
anyways, sunday evening
watching limitless movie from 2011 with brendon whatever
or is it bradley?
been a crazy couple of last months
was offline for november… dont get me started on that
friends visited from Helsinki one weekend… we got drunk… woke up in a hotel with a girl from the bar
dont ask… hey, i hadnt seen anyone in months!
and then on the last day of the month my 2011 macbook pro finally died
so got new equipment, some friends helped out with that
getting my creative flow rolling again
was quite heartbreaking and disappointing to come back online
and notice that nobody cares about my stupid videos on youtube
only one new subscriber to my stupid website
so fuck you all and thanks a lot
i dont care whatever
i will continue to do my thing
i don’t care if anyone listens to my music (i know you know i am lying)
i will die like Van Gogh
an unknown, broke genius… misunderstood… wrong era
who hated xmas because he felt bitter and angry at the gods
forgetting he is one himself
angry at how hypocritical humanity is and forgetting
that he himself is humanity
all this peace and still they chop pigs like it’s nothing
to get some food you don’t need
FUCK YOU HUMANITY
i am done with it all
bye
(just kidding, i love xmas… hohoho motherfucker)
12/20/2020
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in THOUGHTS, POETRY, JOURNAL, SPIRITUALITY