I’m a travelling musician, poet and performer.
I explore inner and outer worlds and express my experiences through my songs, stories and shows.
I love books and talking to strangers and getting lost in cities and wandering the world on an endless hunt for inspiration. It can often be found in the most unexpected places.
You never know who or what will become your next lover or friend or paradise or saviour or melody or hero or destruction. Nor when. The possibility is always there. It’s exciting and terrifying. Waiting for you.
To survive another night is a miracle.
ABOUT
A dreamer’s journey from failure to success while discovering that the journey was the dream all along.
As wild, crazy and unpredictable as my life was for the first 35 years, I realized that there were some constants in my life: (1) devouring books to further my understanding of the world and help me navigate it more effectively; (2) filling notebooks with ideas, lyrics, thoughts, plans and visions; (3) turning my innermost feelings into songs and expressing myself through my words and music.
But how can I turn all that into a business that supports the kind of life I want to live? I can’t just drift forever and wander aimlessly around the planet. I’m also not a very good business man. I struggle with all that stuff. I’m an arist. I live to create.
I NEEDED A PLAN.
So I broke it down into three core vehicles which I knew would drive the success I desired.
1) writing to share the journey
2) making music to express beauty
3) coaching others to empower them to create THEIR dream lives
This was my zone of genius. This is where I excelled at and felt most confident in. But also most challenged by.
Ultimately, it was all about connection for me whether it was through writing, playing music or empowering others. The power of a transformational conversation. Or a performance that can inspire someone to do something they always wanted to do. Even if it’s just to give them courage. I wanted to be the catalyst they needed to push them over the edge. To show what’s possible when odds are conquered and bullshit fears dealt with. Glory! And more. Oh yes.
Of course I had to lead the way. I had to grow up and leave my old ways behind. And it wasn’t gonna be easy. I knew that I was dealing with the most cunning enemy of all. Me!
I had gone through periods where I would focus more on one area of my life over the other. I abandoned projects and chased new dreams like a kid in a candy store. And I felt somehow at war with myself. Disconnected. Defeated. I wanted one thing but I also wanted something entirely different. I thought I had to choose. I kept on choosing but my choices didn’t last because I wasn’t committed to anything or anyone.
But what if I could combine it all somehow? What if I could integrate everything I loved? That’s how I wrote songs, I reminded myself. I integrated ideas and melodies and harmonies and rhythms and sounds. It all came together somehow. I just guided the forces at my disposal. I got out of the way and let the magic happen. What if I could write my life like that too?
So I decided to stop compartmentalising my life. I told myself that I don’t have to do things the way others have done them. I knew it was time to become the leader of my own path. It was time to own my life and embrace my core self. Whatever and whoever that was. I can create it all. It was time to become the process. Become the song. Become the hero of my own movie. Become the man I always wanted to be. It was time to walk on the wild side.
And that’s exactly what I did.
I STARTED THIS BLOG TO CHRONICLE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.
AUTOBLOGOGRAPHY
“My story as it unfolds, and as my memories turn into dust and gold…”
This blog is a place where I can take verbal snapshots of my life. In other words, a sanctuary where I can come lay my head down after a wild night in the jungle. Or wait, is this the jungle?
I have no idea what I will write about. Or why I’m doing this. Or what I’m doing to begin with. I like not knowing. It feels dangerous and exciting, like skydiving naked. So this is not just a bunch of “articles” on how to make money and get a six-pack and last longer. Although I might cover those too!
This is all improv. But there will be bullshit. And sometimes I will fly off the rails. Unless those days are all behind me? I doubt that.
The truth is, I like having an outlet that is public. So it’s not just me in my echo chamber wondering if the tree makes a sound if nobody’s there to hear it. I like the immediacy of writing on the internet.
Or maybe this is a message for my future grand children. I might be dead by the time you read this. I want to leave something behind in case I die tomorrow. We might all be dead sooner than we think.
My only expertise is my own experience. Although I do have many PhDs (in suffering, beauty, failure, spirituality, etc) from my own school and church that I created one day when I was bored. Everything I do is an experiment. I turn my problems into projects. It’s all temporary. Nothing is permanent. This might all be a simulation for all we know. I might be a prophet. Or a madman. Maybe both. Or neither. I think any of us can be anyone. These are all just roles we play until the masks come off.
Life is ultimately a game of chaos vs order. I think we are all addicted to this eternal struggle. Going beyond the game leads to immortality and enlightenment. The polarities are to be found in all natural phenomena, pulling in opposite directions. Yet working together as a whole. Everything in between the polarities is the war we all love but hate to acknowledge. Those who do, become artists and sages and serial killers. Sometimes the war manifests in the outer world and things can get very brutal and bloody. True power is found in the awareness of seeing the paradox of these dualities as an integrated whole. You will feel a release when you catch a glimpse of what I’m talking about. So remember that the next time you have an orgasm.
I’m not fooled easily by fake smiles and false gods. I want the real thing. Give me a taste and I will show you what’s possible.
Sometimes I feel like I’m going insane and it gets really, really bad. But kind of hilarious too in some really strangely perverse white-bluesman-lost-viking-sex-god way. But then I arrive at this moment where it all just makes sense somehow. Like a terrible storm that has passed. And I walk around in awe, admiring all the glorious destruction yet new possibilities being born like flowers after an apocalypse. Life feeding on life. Light dancing around the palace. Fresh scents of promise and delight filling my whole being, intoxicated by the beauty of it all. What a glorious moment to be alive.
I smile and thank the Gods, knowing that it was all completely worth it. Every last drop.