There is a world that is deeper than that which you perceive through your six senses (sight, sound, smell, taste, touch, thought). There is something else going on there. It’s almost as if you are a puppet in some grand scheme of things and someone or something is pulling your strings. There is this force of life running through everything. This mysterious source that is not just a source but a conclusion as well. And everything in between. You try to comprehend it and sense it but you can never quite grasp it so you learn how to let it go because you have caught glimpses of it. That. Or whatever you want to call this “thing” that is seemingly always one step ahead of you.
You read about it and ask some hardcore skeptics about this stuff. You encourage them to go beyond science, beyond religion. They say that religion is unnecessary and there is nothing beyond science because science is just a method for discovering and understanding the world through vigorous study, evidence, probability and objectivity. They seem to be content with this. You get clever and throw some quantum physic wuuwuu at them but they slam you down intellectually and make you feel like an idiot. You wished that the world could just give you a break.
You are not satisfied. Although you admit that they are kinda right. If we can’t find words for something, why even talk about it. Isn’t there enough problems to solve. And how is it that all these ideas of god, religion, faith and this so-called battle with “science” (which most scientists don’t even acknowledge as a battle) has to be even looked at as a problem? These questions have been asked for eternity. The great philosophers and thinkers throughout history came up with all kinds of interesting brain chodder.
But how about we stop for a moment to think about everything as a problem to be solved. What if the biggest problem is assuming that we have to have problems? Otherwise we feel empty and bored. The problem of no problem. Yet this riddle is a another bigger problem because you are still stuck in thought. Is there a way out of this mess? Can you think your way out of thought?
So you sit or lie down with back support in a comfortable position, in a quiet place where you will not be disturbed. Just like all the books and wise men and wo(w)men taught you. You close your eyes. There is some kind of stillness there. You just breathe and release all this “noise”. You let the moment be as it is. What a life. All this fighting and moaning and craziness. So much going on. It feels good to just stop and rest from all this. Days become years and years turn into lifetimes and then they become seconds again. You try to relax and try to not try.
Yet all that noise seems to be relentlessly sucking you back in again and again, even during this quietest of spaces you have found. You don’t even notice it at first but then snap back and wonder how you got hustled again. A blind spot you tell yourself. Another one. You got fooled again. Overtime! Reality is here. Right here. Right now. You are here. There. Everywhere. Nowhere. It’s as if you have become this great ocean of life and all these thoughts are just waves. Sometimes the waves are so strong that they pull you in far from shore and you are drowning, gasping for breath but there are anchors tied to your feet and they are going to the bottom to keep the ship in place. The water is freezing cold like Leonardo Dicaprio in Titanic when he is holding on and Kate Winslet is crying because she knows this is the moment of truth. You are Kate and Leo. And it’s dark and there are mysterious sea monsters hungry and on the prowl for their next meal. You are scared and panic. Your body and brain reacts to this internal storm and pumps out chemicals to ensure your survival. You tense up and contract and the world around you starts closing down. You play it safe and take the same route to work every day and stay at home with the curtains down and your favourite tv program on which helps you forget. You eat the same foods you were taught to love because who knows what kind of poisonous traps those sea monsters have laid out in the fields and supermarkets. All change is threat. You want your children to be safe also. You are alone and afraid.
Woah, how did you get pulled in again. What the hell is going on here. You take a breath and the waves are calm again. Calm. You like the word. You go with it. You go down a river, just flow with the water. The rapids are quick and muscular but you seem to be okay with everything. Just let it take you. Just like Leo and Kate did. They knew that love will keep them alive forever. Somehow they knew and this became the only way. What if there is a waterfall? You decide to go with it just to see what happens. You are tired of being so scared and closed, like a rat in a cage on cocaine, full of hidden rage. What do you have to lose? You know that death will come anyways one day. Yes, your heart will go on. Not your physical heart but the heart of life itself. This is the answer you were looking for. Whether you get eaten by a sea monster or fall down the stairs when you’re 134. Your body is aging. All your cells and organs are working their asses off while you just sit there taking everything for granted, mumbling something incoherent and shovelling shit down your esophagus.
You find some peace in this war. It feels like a neon sign screaming at you to just “experience” this. This gives you a greater pleasure than anything you have ever felt before. So this can be felt after all. Perhaps the scientists were right. Maybe they were born with this feeling and just assumed everybody else had it too. That’s how they became so smart. They sorted it out as toddlers while smashing their lego towers meanwhile you were too busy shitting your diapers or something. It took you 30 years longer but maybe they have forgotten it now and somehow the fools end up as the smarter ones when the dust settles. It’s hard to know what hunger is if you’ve never felt it. Just like riding a bike or drawing. You can’t taste the food by reading the menu. Science is God. It’s the way and the what-. The process and the purpose. You’re all playing the same game, all conflict is a failure of communication. A failure to build a bridge where all can walk. Everyone is a soldier in this great war. We either build bridges (heal) or destroy them (kill).
Can you sell this? Is there an affiliate niche for this? How about every single humanimal alive even the ones not born yet? This is the best drug there is. But it’s free and yet worth more than all the trillions in the economy. This is the daddy of all drugs and sensations. If happiness and success is a mountain, this is the top. Higher than everest. Further than the moon. Better than the next iPhone. This is the source. The conclusion.
You are connected. Free. You understand it intellectually. You see it. Hear it. Taste it. Touch it. Feel it. You were wrong. It CAN be sensed. You were just lost in the storm and thought that there is something wrong with being lost. This is the solution to the problem and the problem without a solution because the solution IS the problem.
You open your eyes.
You decide to make this practise a permanent resident of your inhabitance. You broaden the practise. You learn to relax your muscles. Stretch them. Breathe into them. This feels good when you don’t go too far. Your body gets stronger and more flexible. Oddly enough, this helps you relax because now you are in control. When you are in control, you know how to let go. It’s a good way to prepare for the sitting in silence thing because it turns you into a more agile warrior and you can go deeper next time. Who knows what lies hidden in the abyss. New worlds. New Americas.
Now you know what it feels like to be the light.
