From wiki: A hangover is a physical and mentail pain you feel in the morning after a heavy night of drinking alcohol. Symptoms are as follows but not limitted to: headache, nausea, diahrrea, dehydration. A hangover originated as an expression describing the idea of something that is hung over or left over from the nights before.
Unfortunately (for my drinking partners in crime), I have no more hangovers left in me except the one that is leaving my body right now and on it’s way to this blogetry post to be cemented in time as a reminder to myself. I am making myself accountable although I know that this kind of accountability is always a delete button away. But the price for that would be self dignity and lack thereof –> exposed, which I’ve done enough already. Dignity and integrity are just too damn important for me. They are also the areas in life where I have perhaps the most work to be done. I know the job and I know how to do it now. The hours are 24/7. Holidays? Never.
I can’t sleep. I got thirst. I got hunger. Emotional thirst, emotional hunger. But I am feeling deep stuff that I haven’t felt for awhile. I am also seeing things in a way I haven’t before. All I demand is more focus and clarity in thought to experience these emotions even more fully. For that I need to make some lifestyle adjustments.
The intellectual realization has happened. That was the spark. I had to finish the week and take care of some loose ends. I crossed a wild valley across a hazardous looking bridge.
I can now breathe a sigh of relief. I made it to the other side.
Now it’s time for the physical manifestation of that realization I wrote about in the last few posts…
That is the fire.
And it’s waiting to explode in rage and love.
It all begins with fresh, clean water, calm breathing, a dark room and some sleep. The new day awaits.