Sep 14, 2009

THE REAL MARKUS IS BACK.
hello friends, strangers, family members, fans, enemies, nobodies, somebodies, imaginary people and whoever else may be reading this. currently listening to ryan adams’ “let it ride” (what an amazing song!!) and going through some other old favorites in my music collection which i almost abandoned but luckily still have on my computer. it’s been an interesting last few months. i finally got my new bed…i only slept on the floor for 40 days and nights so it’s nice to sleep properly again. i also decided to abandon my waking up at 5 in the morning not because it was too hard to get up but because it was too hard to go to bed early. i’m just too wired at this time (23:00 or 11pm for americans) which means i wasn’t sleeping nearly enough and this was affecting my moods a lot. i get obsessed with things easily and for me the moderation thing is really not easy as it seems to be for most people who always tell me to remember moderation. for example last month i abandoned my super healthy raw vegan diet and would sometimes go to mcdonalds and eat 5 big macs for reasons unknown. i don’t know if i was doing it to punish my body or what. luckily i have always been quite a thin guy and since i’m so active with all the fitness stuff these days, i can do it. but i know that it’s not normal to do things like that. i have had the same problems with drinking and intoxicating myself with whatever i can get my hands on. luckily i haven’t gotten myself to any heavier substances which would be the ultimate downfall for someone with my personality type. i do things to excess and i look for new things to get obsessed about and ultimately run away from myself. it’s a dangerous characteristic to have but i think it also fuels my fire as an artist. i am often overwhelmed with creativity and i’m like a boiling pot with a lid on. sometimes it’s tough to experience these manic states where i’m jumping on walls because there’s so much melodies or words or songs or big ideas or crazy stuff or whatever coming out of me. my job is not to be a radical jesus saves type who preaches the truth through a megaphone on streets. i don’t want to be that. i just want to create my music and write my shit and enjoy simple things in life. tonight i also went out for a pizza because i have been eating fruits and veggies for 2 weeks straight and after eating a big salad, i was still hungry and i just wanted to have something else. i don’t want to be apart of any movement including raw food, veganism, zen, yoga or anything else with some label attached to it. i just want to be healthy and figure for myself out what works and what doesn’t. sure i think meditation is important and so is eating a lot of fruit. eventually my body will tell me what is right. i’m sick of people telling me what i should do and what doesn’t work or what does and making me feel guilty for not following their path. i have my own path and i will do what i want. i apologize to anyone who i may have offended or hurt because of my strong views on some stuff. can’t wait to finally go record some new music with my good buddy and super drummer peter at the end of this month. our ambitions are set high and my time will come, you better believe it. when you hear our music, you will know what we are talking about. we have been working very hard on this lately and the plan is to release a few songs for the start of 2010. the new decade needs a new band and that’s where we come in. i think i’m going to watch some movies now. not tired. tomorrow is a new day. through these lows i always find an even higher gear. the transformation continues. actually there is no transformation. there is no old me or new me. there’s just what i am deep down inside and what is real. and if you are reading this June, i hope you know that  i still think about you. forget about everything that has happened just look ahead with your head up and listen to the song reprise by mew. i feel like the real me tonight which is a person i like very much. oh and the new muse album is really horrible and so are all other new albums i’ve heard lately, sorry for the negativity just had to get that out. can someone recommend me some good new music that will blow me away like the new mew album (which is just amazing) because i’m having trouble finding any. enough blabbering. glad to get all that off my chest. oh and you can go listen to some new songs on the myspace page. well they’re not exactly new but stuff i’ve done in the last year or so. just thought i’d put some up. good night.