This is a progress report. Nothing is finished yet. So since the beginning of June I’ve been mostly staying out of the sun and instead bathing in the inner sun; recording an album that is. It’s been a very difficult and grueling process so far. I hoped to have the recordings done by now and even have it mixed by now but I’ve decided I need more time so it will be delayed by about one month. We are setting our sights on October for the release. The good thing is, because I’ve taken some extreme measures in making sure it’s as good as I can possibly make it, it’s sounding very good. The most important thing is that I feel good about it… at least so far. It’s definitely the best thing I’ve done by far. How that will fare on a larger scale I don’t know yet. Although I’ve recorded a few albums in the past which I just sold personally at my liveshows, I consider those to be just practise albums in hindsight. Demos. This is really the fist one. It’s been a long hard road to get to this point. In fact, now that I think of it I’m amazed that I’m still doing this. It’s a relentless pursuit towards something which I can barely identify. There are definitely some mysterious forces at work here. This not the path of a sane man. Luckily these days I have some help in the process. But ultimately, when it comes time to face the enemy eye-to-eye… it’s just me against myself. Cold wind coming into the city today. This week I’ve been drifting somewhere between reality and fantasy, not always knowing which is which. I try to keep calm. Get my daily water and sleep and exercise and reading. My life is quite good right now on paper. I got the girl. I got the shelter. I got the bread. I got my guitar. And I also have a furious passionate anger inside that comes out in my song as an avalanche of sonic rainbows blasting into the ethersphere. I just wish I wasn’t always broke. I could really use a grammy award sometime soon. I hate it that we’re all slaves to money. This makes us do things we don’t really want to do. And we think that without this we would do nothing but I believe the opposite is true! But we do it because we want the things that money can buy for us. And we buy those things so we can feel a hit of power and freedom. We get a micro-glimpse of what it’s like being wealthy and admired when we admire ourselves in changing room mirrors and street shop windows. We are only free within the cages of what (very carefully) pre-selected choices are offered to us. My girlfriend is taking a nap in the bedroom as I write this. We don’t live together but I do live to-get-her and I think I’m finally starting to get this relationship thing and the other ships as well which have sailed long before I was born and you were born and the first observer was born. She’s the one. I’m the one. You’re no-one, someone, everyone. We are all one. But one is three letters long and 3 is the void we will never understand. And Tonight I have a show in old town Tallinn doing my usual thing meanwhile nursing this Tennis Elbow. I played tennis 15 years ago one afternoon. Never knew it would have such drastic consequences. In a few days I’m going to Finland for a little vacation. I deleted my twitter and instagram realizing that they are a complete waste of time and just distracting, I dont want to see people’s lives through a computer screen when I can watch Schwarzenegger movies all night with my new curtains closed. Better to keep things in one place. If you want to know me, you will find me here. It takes some extra clicking and inititative but perhaps this will filter out the posers. And more importantly, you can find me in the songs. The song. What a fascinating world. That’s really what I’m all about. Writing songs. And don’t forget that anything I write or do or say or hear or experience is always a potential song in the making. So much for that vacation huh? If you got this far, I’m flattered I must say. Until next time. MRN
