REASONS

you said you had your million reasons
why you wanted to be with me
as we walked in the winter wonderlands
holding hands and dreams
leave it all behind and just drive, we thought
go to Norway and build our own life there
but then something happened
you got scared, you pulled away
you disconnected and it felt like
a high-pressure hose of ice cold water
after a warm heavenly slumber
suddenly we were no longer lovers
but a lover and a stranger
you in love with your
pseudo-independant loneliness
me a stranger to my detached higher self
nothing feels worse than the fading intimacy
of sleeping next to someone
to whom you feel a growing distance
like the sun and moon
but each from different galaxies and eras
it’s like we were both not there anymore
not even real, nothing felt real anymore
i wanted to leave but couldn’t
because i drove all that fucking way
to help you, to liberate you
to save you from yourself
from your teenage fake rebel charade
a scared little girl abandoned by mommy and daddy
you selfish fucking cunt
in the end you turned out to be a huge disappointment
and i deserve better
you are not good enough for me
so i said give me back my keys
get lost bitch. byebye. delete. Next!
(sorry honey, i’m still hurt and miss you)
maybe one day you can be my ice queen.

09/03/2020

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