paris

sitting in my living room with ideas
for movies about poets and dancers
long drawn out shots and awkward scenes
but nothing too fancy or pretentious
or maybe a deep study on exactly that
might even call it “Etcetra”
what the hell do i even mean
when i say such things
almost as if i have been programmed
to think that i am not supposed to be
this or that or whatever i am sick of this thought
so will abandon it now and move to another one
anyways got this camcorder
3 months ago (now wondering if
i should’ve pursued that thought further
but ceased by a relentless confusion
that feels kind of nice actually
like an itch i didn’t know i had,
is this what squirrels think of
when they wake up?)
so yeah got this camcorder
i pretend it’s old and valuable
the truth is its a brand spanking new sony
probably assembled by frightened chiildren
cost about a grand and to kill the vibe even more
i researched it and read reviews ONLINE
yes thats right mister romantic poet
uses the internet ladies and gentleman
ok internet you win, i cannot resist you
(suddenly a lazer precision thought appears
– imagine tokyo after rush hour –
that fulfills my physiology with an urge
to define a word and that word is
“persona”: which comes from the latin word for mask
Your whole identity is something you have
constructed based on the influences of
parents, movies, culture and your own
genetic temperement
all this becomes habitual
and almost impossible to change)
the point is, i have ideas.
and my ideas dont
always have a point.
why are you so obsessed
with points? and this meaning thing
or even the standoff in physics
between steady state universe and big bang
this is the same standoff i face
as an artist (i love calling myself that!)
my kitchen timer is about to go off
its time to go running for 3 kilo metres
i will select the playlist on my ipod nano
that i have simply called sept23
which consists of 25 songs
i purchased from the itunes store
that were in my wishlist
also bought the new
slowdive album there for €6.99
which i have not listened to yet
after my run i will shower
and if i have time, eat
and then i will go to
meet a woman who will teach me NLP
i told her i cant afford it but she said
she wants to teach me anyways
honestly i dont really want to go
i used to be more excited and open
to all this stuff but it seems i am now okay
with being who i am and not being
too obsessed with changing states
or manipulating moods
i have learned
to roll with punches
or to quote the great Khabib
make you tired and then
take you into the deep ocean
Ladies and gentlemen this is
what it’s all about
This is why they call it poetry
On this page i can do anything
i can say anything i want
i think i have finally found
the sweet spot
Professors and students will one day
study my work and there will be
debates on what i meant
or perhaps i will be one of those poets
that never quite got the recognition he deserved
too punk rock for the constipated academics
Yet there will be a certain subset of humans
who appreciate this kind of thing
The Limonov types
we belong
in Paris.