could we resolve this
why did i have to turn
you against me
you said you felt unsafe
but you wanted to know the real me so i let you in
on my secret worlds
where vodka sorrows dance to sunset chandeliers
yet you got scared
how else
could i have known
that you were not the one
i was looking for
orange peels
your million reasons
you asked me if i had heard of
twin flames
i said no but wanted to know more don’t go too deep into it you said
and then you came to me so sweetly and sat on my lap and i began
to kiss your neck
when suddenly a lemon water glass fell and we wondered
if this was some kind of sign
and i felt this evil spirit rise
but i didn’t mind
how could i have known
it would be one of the last times
i would kiss you like this
or hold you so close
what i would do
to go back to that moment
while you read to me
about twin flames
ORANGE PEELS
how else
don’t go too deep into it you warned
while chaos grew around us getting ready to consume us i heard your cry for help
and i came to you
and i stayed with you
and oh honey, how i wanted to
would’ve done even more
if you had asked
but now suddenly you tell me
you never needed me
you left me somewhere
out of reach
i call for help
get no answers, nothing
it’s like the gods
have forsaken me
and so now
hearts hurt, slow burn
unbearably so
orange peels
and yes i said some awful things
but so did you
what the hell is the point of anything now when all my dreams are dead
how else
could this have gone
if i would’ve just left you alone waited until you were ready and i was
sane
safe
fake
tame
in other words,
everything you never wanted
i write this because
i want to turn you and all this
into a beautiful memory somehow but i don’t know how
to remind myself and others
that everything must pass eventually
nobody knows when
you meet someone who makes you shine and awakens in you something deep nobody knows when
everything will fall apart again
one day you are here, you find love next day you are gone, you lose it all all life is constantly changing form orange peels
it’s best not to get too attached
let it come, let it be, let it go
otherwise we go crazy
start obsessing about things we cannot control forget things we have
that keep us alive
oh how precious this life is
what a miracle it even is to be here for a brief moment
to keep going, no matter what
or at least knowing that we can hard times, good times, sunshine it’s like we live many lives
within one life
how else
could we ever know
what all this means
orange peels
i can still taste her
on my troubled tongue
MN