you are sitting in a room somewhere. everything around you is somebody’s product and all products began as an idea, a thought in someone’s head. the songs you listen to. the books you read. the movies you watch. the chair you are sitting on. the bed you sleep in. the clothes you wear. even the people you interact with, they are all products.
it all begins in your mind.
if you feel good or bad, you have interpreted events according to how they align with your expectations of how things should be so you are in a balanced state. when depressed, you are disappointed in the world. when happy, you are grateful that it is so good. always ebbing and flowing between states and moods. some people get trapped in the higher or lower states. or cycle between them wildly and it can be exhausting but also exciting, like a show with plot twists and epic drama.
sometimes i think law of attraction and all that new age new thought positive thinking stuff is garbage. i go back to my down and out art in books, movies, music. i feel at home there because it is safe and these miserable fucks are describing something romantic. there is beauty and humor there. it is comforting to know that others have been in those dark places.
then i come for air again knowing i want more and admitting to myself that i am just another kumbaya snowflake who enjoys smiles, fruit, tropical beaches and smooth skin. health is the greatest wealth. and then i read books about business and helping others and having the mindset of a champion who has the resources to do whatever he wants, wherever and with whomever. a life of abundance, joy, laughter and sunshine.
these days i am working on how to put all this together. i used to be in the closet regarding my affirmations, prayers and all that. but i dont give a fuck anymore. i am who i am. i want to be happy but inspired also and help others connect with the creative flow. nothing feels better than to be healthy, wealthy and happy. or would you rather be broke, poor and depressed?
i know a lot people who don’t appreciate this aspect of me. they just see me as the depression companion or drinking buddy. they are locked in permanently to this down and out life and it is all they know. they don’t give a fuck about health or fitness or success. they are willing slaves to a world beyond their control so they give up permanently and go back to netflix, booze, donuts and porn. they feel envious of anyone who is actually happy and wealth by calling them fakes and spending their days drowning in fear.
everything else is a threat. and they assume i will come back down after i am tripping hard on the love stuff. year after year they are still complaining and feeling sorry for themselves in the dungeons but i see them as lazy dumb fat fucks who have only themselves to blame. nobody wants to be around that kind of toxic energy.
if that is you, know that you are free to change whenever you have had enough. this will not happen on its own. you will get old and more tired if you don’t start to see the light. the light is all around you, you are addicted to the light. stop lying to yourself. nobody is coming to save you. you want a great life? create it. starting now. if you are in a hole, step one is to stop digging.
there is a way to get high and never have to come down. and i have great faith in my ability to stay up there in the clouds. just takes a lot of work and practice and study. and years of failure to know what is possible. failure hurst of course but that just makes us stronger. we are being tested by our own desires. how much do you want it? eventualy you get to a point where you just surrender to a higher force. some call it god or love.
of course life can be unpredictable. shit happens. tragedy strikes. you will lose people you love and then have to deal with your emotions and attachments.
what bothers me most is the hypocrisy and dishonesty. because everyone wants health and wealth. they are just not willing to do what it requires because they are so addicted to comfort and immediate pleasure. this is one of the biggest problems we have right now in the whole world.
Easy choices. Hard life.
Hard choices. Easy life.
i am not always polite or nice to people when they are being selfish losers. i call them out and tell them what they don’t wanna hear. it’s usually quite frustrating to communicate with people on this level and if they continue being like this, i cut them out because all they want is to drown you in their despair, that will make their demons happy.
i know this person very well because i used to be him. i built a whole life revolving around toxic people and addicts. and i know how hard it can be to get out. coddling and enabling you will never help anyone. it is not gonna be okay unless you get serious about transformation. and you can’t help people unless they are humble enough to look up to you or even see that you are someone worth looking up to.
my dream is to live in tenerife where the climates and seasons are stable. have a nice place on the beach. go explore the volcanoes. sail the atlantic. make love to beautiful women and maybe get married when i find my vegan cleopatra. eat fresh fruit. play guitar. write poetry. meet interesting people. start a social scene of cool people i can explore these things with. make music. write books and then travel from there. i want to be a permanent tourist of earth but a world citizen at heart.
eventually build a palace where i will welcome all the people i meet and even the ones from my past life as a loser. we will create a new world of love, freedom, truth and liberate our hearts and spirits from the chains of capitalist corporate greed. world peace is coming and it is worth dedicating our entire existence towards. peace of mind. and return all cities and towns to symbiotic habitats of wild nature.
right now i am still in finland. the trees are skeletons because it’s winter. this is not the right climate for me. i have debts to pay and a bunch of stuff i want to get rid of so i can leave for good. don’t have that much money. some savings and right now i get money from the government to pay rent, food and bills because i refuse to work a day job (i am an entrepreneur and artist at heart). it’s about €1000 per month. i have guitars and lots of books, cds, clothes, kitchen stuff, furniture, and devices. i am starting my own company in april and applied to business school in autumn.
not sure exactly how to get from here to there but every day i am working on my mind, body, skills and songs so that when i leave, i will be ready. i might keep this place going even i travel and explore until i have enough money to fully make the move.
it’s an exciting journey and i am the happiest man alive.