learn by doing

*this morning feel like a bit of a birdbrain. mind going in a million directions. i am sitting in lehmus coffee roastery, drinking fancy tea. before coming here i went to the cafe in the harbour (in photo) but i didn’t like the place so came here. bob marley is playing quietly and this green chair is very comfy. i have this lenovo thinkpad laptop with me and a few other things in my backpack.* to the left is a pretty girl with black lipstick and black leather jacket. and black hair with strong attacking eyes. she is sitting there with her blonde friend who like me is wearing a black hoodie. i have nike sweatpants on with my vicevoids hoodie. i got these pants as a gift from my mom in 2017. they are also comfy. my trainers are black adidas also from 2017. the girls are talking fast about… superficial stuff but hey, we’re all human and it’s all relative right? i wonder what they think of me sitting here in the corner. i look okay. but i am not wealthy or have any status in this town so i am probably a nobody for them. their voices are sexy but right now i have no time for female companions. on my browser i have a few dan koe sales pages and a few movement courses i bought by the tapp brothers i found via youtube. also a few tabs on some blogging platforms i am researching to post this with (want to try something new). i think it’s time to create my online eco-system for vicedoids. as usual, i have no idea what i’m doing which is a lie but sounds cool everytime i say such things. not knowing is a good approach to stay fresh and excited. these words are flying out of my brain as i write them. i am capturing my current experience. the brain produces a lot of thoughts per hour. most of them are nonsense. but that act of harnessing them, being aware of them and putting them to some expressionable form is an art i have been partaking in for the last 25 years since i started writing my own songs at 15. you do the math. life is good. this week i am taking a break from music. it’s nice because i actually have time to do other stuff and be a little lazy. i often burn myself out when i get too disciplined. i am thinking about going to france later this month to say hi to some friends. also recording my new songs this summer and kind of laying low. decided i no longer want to take part in the meta-verse of facebook, instagram and whatsapp. it is just not my scene. just the thought of it feels liberating. i really believe in my new songs. i am confident that when others hear them, they will think good things and feel something they perhaps forgot was even real. i want to remind them (you) of this feeling. i don’t even know what to call it. that is why the songs have to do it. when i play them, i become a passenger. i am not very consistent with anything else in my life and go through all kinds of weird phases and obsessions. but music remains and has also remained the one constant. my songs and skills are my anchor and my rocket ship and my lottery ticket and my battlefield and my think tank and my arcade and my healing center and my church and my mountain paradise getaway car. i could write forever but i am gonna stop here because it feels like a good chunk of thoughts. i would really like it if you leave a comment, join my newsletter and send my money and go listen to my music and share my content because i am building an audience. whoever you are. i hope you are doing well. thank you. have a wonderful day. oh and i am always exploring with form so things like words, paragraphs and structure is a field with infinite possibilities and potential. a blank page is a canvas.a sea of white. you can do anything, be anyone. or like me, **no one.** maybe you are *the one.* vv