Jun 22, 2013

Been living quietly lately. Embracing boredom. Avoiding people. Working hard on my skills, my self (you know, the one we falsely presume to exist), my body (going to the gym which I kinda like), and of course movies, books, music, etc most of which are not worthy of mention. No parties, no drinking (ok, had a beer last night). Nor do I particularly feel like doing the latter (I try extra hard to convince I believe this lie). Lately I’ve been playing all these shows to pay rent. At least I get to do my own stuff. I kind of enjoy it. It’s better than any other job imaginable. But something is missing. I want more, much much more. Just have to keep at it. Patience, perseverance. Not worry too much about what others are doing or if I’m missing out on something by doing what I’m doing. This is the life I chose and it’s the only life I would ever want. I said I would get more serious about this and I have. I hear people are leaving the city to celebrate mid-summer’s day (known here as Jaanipäev) and if it’s anything like finland (there it’s called Juhannus), it’s all about people escaping their miserable existences by obliterating the collective consciousness with alcohol. I prefer staying in the city. If I was a bird, I would fly away.