I used to be one of those quiet and desperate men. Until now.
I am constantly astounded when I look at couples. They might be living together, perhaps even married or maybe they are just stuck dating each other. Actually, I think it would be quite justified to use that ‘s’ adjective for all three.
Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that there are couples out there who are genuinely happy, who actually understand each other, who communicate on a higher level, who know each other better than they know themselves, who know themselves through their partner and on top of that share an un-quenching thirst for mutual personal growth. These couples embark on an everlasting adventure where life is truly experienced together with all it’s ups and downs in a way that goes beyond what one can experience alone. What could be more beautiful than that?
Do I know any of these couples as described in the above paragraph? No. Not one (or two). That’s just me. As I said, I am sure they are out there. I have read about them. I just don’t know any.
I truly believe that most couples are stuck together and I also think they are worse off that way. They become lazy, passive, boring and conservative. On top of that they become fat, ugly and full of repressed emotion, sexual frustration and deluded self thinking.
Most people mistake the idea of ‘there’s someone out there just for you’ for ‘settle with the first person you get along with’. Even the ‘getting along with’ doesn’t matter anymore once convenience and false security step into the picture, both which are the enemies of an exciting, authentic life.
So what is it that drives people to be so obsessed with this idea of having to be with someone else? Could it be simply out of fear of not being alone?
I understand that the Ikea furniture is always 50% off if you are sharing your life (and depriving yourself of freedom) with another human being. What this also means to me however is that much too often, once that furniture is bought, the difference between true love and easy love starts to become increasingly blurry.
Going back to the ‘loneliness’ theory, it must be remembered that being ‘alone’ and being ‘lonely’ are often mistaken for one another. Alone is simply the state of being in the company of yourself. Loneliness is being sad about the fact that you are alone. They are not the same thing. I would even go as far to say that loneliness is being afraid of being alone. This fear, seems to me the biggest reason why there are not more of those genuinely happy couples.
Anything that is based on a fear, relationships included, is doomed from the beginning.
There will be several different reactions by readers who come across what I just wrote. The ones who are most offended by the above will no doubt be the ones who most fall under the category of the stuck. There will also be the cowards who never leave their comfort zones and never pursue a relationship that is beyond their hand and computer screen (or plastic toy) and who mistakenly thought I was sympathizing with their lackluster approach to life; who are no better (or more lonely) than their ‘lonely’ friends who are involved with someone.
Hopefully this will also reach a few people who do feel stuck and are willing to admit it. I ask that you at least address the issue with yourself and if you have a partner, with them. There is a way. Perhaps you are in a meaningful relationship but you have let it become clouded with the mundane 9 to 5 lifestyle most of us are enslaved to. I suggest you find out.
For the ones who lie to themselves that they are content with being alone or being stuck/trapped, look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself this: Am I doing this for myself or am I playing a part which everyone wants me to play?
The world doesn’t need anymore robots (or robot babies) to live according to the ideals which have been force fed to us by our corrupt system which poisons our essence as intelligent human beings.
It’s time to wake up. Take control of your life. Stop pretending that the problems in your life are not inside you. Take responsibilty. Accept the things you cannot change, change the things you can. There is always a way.