Hello, I’m Mr.Ego
I control this human being you most know as Markus. I control his emotions, his thoughts, his actions and pretty much everything else that goes on with him (or it). I only care about two things: having and wanting. It doesn’t really matter what I have (or don’t have), there just needs to be something I can cling onto and be obsessed with until I suffocate the life out of it and move on to the next thing or want more of the same thing. More, more, more.
I’m sure you understand what I’m talking about. Most of you probably recognize me because there is a little of me in all of you. If you don’t recognize me then you are one of those who I’ve left with nothing but a dead body to walk in amongst the living. Lucky you. This is also my goal with Markus. I want to destroy him, everything about him and everything/everybody close to him. He thinks that he can “transcend” me. Ha! How many have tried that? In this day and age, it is nearly impossible.
But I gotta admit, he has been trying. The fool just doesn’t know that the way he is going about it has always been ego based (hence, me). Hahahaa! It’s like killing cancer with cancer. Quite a meaningless pursuit if there ever was one, wouldn’t you say?
Well, perhaps I shouldn’t give him anymore advice on destroying me in case he is reading this.
Let me tell you a little bit about myself.
I am a capitalist at heart. Actually, capitalism is me. Growth is everything to me. I don’t care who stands in my way. If I see something that helps me grow and think it will help me, it’s mine. In fact you could say that capitalism (like any social system based on greed, fear and power) is just the manifestation of the collective ego of the human race.
There are moments when the real Markus shines. Why do I let this happen? Sometimes it’s nice to know what you got by giving it away for a moment or two. You know like letting a man on death row taste a day of freedom, making his suffering even more great when he knows what he is losing. I get a huge kick out of this! Pretty sweet, huh?
Like when he writes and feels that inspiration of his. Turning this cruel, grey, cold world into something beautiful. Into a rainbow soaring in the sky. Right…
Or his “love” affair with this girl June. Hahaa. He probably made up the whole person. Whoever or whatever this girl is, she doesn’t know that it is ME who she really desires. Markus thinks that love is beyond everything. What a loser…
Or his band “Awe”. I mean, what kind of name is that? I’m sure it’ll fail like all his other so called music projects. One day he’ll be a drunk bum outside who thinks he will still make it one day. The only band he’ll have then is his fellow decaying homeless friends huddled around the bonfire. After I’m done with him that is…
At least his friends had the sense to get an education and a safety net (something Markus never believed in) if it all goes to hell. Hell…now that is a word I like. What’s it like? Just look around. If you can’t see it, give me a call.
As for beauty, love, truth? I’m all the beauty and love anybody will ever need. Without me, we’d still be apes running around in the jungle. Believe me, it wasn’t a pretty sight. The world goes forward because of me. We’d be nowhere!
I gotta go now. You know, do what I do best. (I’m actually feeling a bit hazy. Maybe “his” cleanliness is getting to me…) I gotta get a fix. Find something to objectify. Someone to identify myself through. My sense of self is completely reliant on others’ validation, approval and acceptance of me. Even their hatred will do. My self-worth is defined by everything exterior and material. All this spirituality, awakening, enlightenment, higher consciousness, god, love, blablabalaaa…ugh…makes me sick. A bunch of bullshit if you ask me.
And even if he (Markus) does get the best of me, there’s still a world full of poor, desperate souls I have in my clutches. So keep the wars going. Guns blazing. Fists clenched. Remain a slave to your life. Let me into your soul. Forever!
Yours truly,
with everlasting friendship and guidance
Mr.Ego