I realized today that all the people in our lives (past, present & future) whether it’s a friend, an enemy, a lover, or whoever are here to challenge us and teach us the lessons we need to learn in order to grow into better people. At the same time we are that lesson or challenge for somebody else. Sometimes these lessons are given as beautiful gifts. Sometimes the meanings of the lessons and challenges are cleverly disguised and very well hidden. Of course it all depends on how we look at the situations we experience or how we handle them.
I find myself thinking often about other people and questioning their actions or beliefs and these thoughts cause me great frustration and puzzlement. But lately I have caught myself when thinking too much about other people and again and again forcing those thoughts to redirect towards myself.
The greatest obstacle standing in my way is these constant demands I make of life around me. Wanting things to be different than they are. Wishing this person or that person would not be so this and that. Not accepting what is happening right now. Not being here.
I think about these thing at night when I am lying in bed. When the lights are out. When the day is over. When I am trying to fall asleep. I feel like I am failing each day. Again and again. But I am also (trying) to tell myself to forget about failure. And reminding myself that the biggest mistake in life is not making mistakes; not failing.
Sometimes it’s okay to not have to agree or disagree; to not have to be in control of a situation; to not have an opinion. To sit quietly. Observing. Smiling.
On a another note, I had a very interesting and pleasing experience while meditating this morning. I suddenly felt like my body was very heavy but at the same time I felt this intense release from everything. I closed my eyes and the intensity grew. I felt like I lost my body although my mind was completely aware of the experience and I remember I decided to just enjoy it without analyzing it or being affected by it in any way other than just feeling it. It felt good but then it was just gone. This has never happened to me before. Maybe it was just complete relaxation. Maybe it was something else. I don’t know.
I don’t really understand what’s going on with anything anymore. To me, the world is in chaos. For the first time, I am trying to enjoy not understanding. I’ve always had these great plans and ambitions but little by little I am letting go of them or at least detaching the importance I have placed on them. Enjoying what is happening right now. Appreciating it. Learning from it. Seeing reality for what it really is. Not running away from it. Yes it’s a cliche but that is really the secret to (well) being. That is the only happiness there is and the only happiness I care about.
I think we are all students in this world. Studying life. Studying ourselves. Studying each other. But we are also teachers. To ourselves. To each other. That is the only purpose we really have and everybody has the same purpose. That is what drives humanity.
Oh and I remind you dear reader to now read the title of this blog to remember what this is all about.
goodnight