been going to bed early recently. i mean 20-21pm. and experimenting with taping my mouth to make sure i am breathing through the nose. approaching 40 in a few months and i gotta start taking care of my health more. i tend to cycle between bingeing on junk and then fasting or depriving myself with cleansing foods like fruits and vegetables. i guess there is a sweet spot somewhere in the middle. currently reading durianrider’s ebook carb the fuck up which is quite a fun ride. always loved his energy.
last night i finished reading my first dan fante book who was the son of infamous john fante (one of the greatest writers ever to have graced human history). and i gotta say, dan is right up there too. this was an incredible read from start to finish.
just feel a little ashamed and embarassed that i read it on my kindle electronic reading device. nor did i even have the decency to purchase the book but got it online for free. what kind of man does that?
real men read paperbacks, wear boots/suits, smoke pipes and don’t walk around in nike sweatpants, adidas sneakers and read health books. but what the hell, they do the job and maybe i am just another chump who thinks he’s something he’s not.
look i just dont have the energy to give a fuck right now how i look like where i am living. i am not operating in that mode when i am here. just wanna focus on my work as a poet, musician and mystic. ain’t got time for anything else like boozing, womenizing and playing budbros with the all the two-pump chumps who are too easy to fool. i could be their jesus if i wanted to.
dont worry tho, when i travel again i will get the neon nail polish going and look the part of a… well whatever it is i am and do when not around people. and whatever it is i become when i am in the company of a beautiful woman or people who wanna have a good time or are ready to calm down for a moment of intimacy in the name of poetry and song.
insanity is everywhere. flowers growing in a field. food cooking in the oven. a tiger yawning. craftsmen squabbling on the street. a taxi driver sitting in the dark in between clients dreaming of a better life.
does it begin with our interpretations? or is it all an act? my psychiatrist told me recently that the ones who go into full blown psychosis are the ones who are most selfish and arrogant. i agree. but i also think these episodes are usually triggered by drugs.
humility and compassion are the antidote to all this but only if it also extends to non-human animals (whom i like to feature on the photos of every post as well as their possible whereabouts). i’m a kumbaya man of love and truth at heart.
my craziness is the cozy kind. just enough to keep creativity flowing but not so much to impair me into laziness and apathy like a few people i know. that’s where the mysticism comes in handy. be curious about all your states, stop identifying with them. and keep your cock hard and balls full with squats and deaflifts!
writers and artists who express and get what i am talking about are:
dan fante, john fante, henry miller, charles bukowski, tom waits, hubert selby jr, josh t pearson, john maus, mark kozelek, sam pink, scott mclanahan, nico walker and noah cicero.
here are some more crazy geniuses.
women have no need to ever understand this way of living but will always be looking for a man to give them that feeling of madness and romance and possibility, even if they know it will never last which is part of the thrill.
we are not good providers. if you want safety and protection, look elsewhere. if you want poetry and ravishing kundalini serpent rising, look for me in your lovers. if you want a wild sweaty adventure in the jungles of hedonism (and you are not fat)…
swipe right.