I have no real friends in this world who i can connect with on a deeper level and that I admire. All the people i used to call friends are dishonest, mediocre, drug addicts, restless and boring. This is not surprising since i used to be like that as well. Like attracts like. But I dont want to be like that anymore.
What kind of people would i attract into my life if i was: brutally honest, brilliant, charismatic, free, whole, strong, healthy, wise, kind, wealthy, energetic and inspiring?
I don’t like the way I turn all hot girls into sexual objects or fantasies from porn films. This doesn’t feel right to me or them. Sex is something more than that. Sacred unity with the divine. Masturbate to that!
I’m starting to think that Lsd is just another drug. Like all psychedelics. We become addicted to that experience. Its too easy to get. And ultimately fleeting when it ends. I think its time to leave all the drugs behind.
I want to write and have a successful business but there is some kind of fear attached to really attempting that. I am scared that i will look weak and disappoint all my dead heroes. How bizarre. But i am not my dead heroes. I am me. The one and only.
Markus, you are 35. Your life is just beginning. You are young and free. Healthy and smart. Sexy and wise. Funny and charming. The world is yours brother. Create the life you want. And be grateful that you now know after 35 years of experimenting, what you DONT want.
Have fun, enjoy the process. Take it slowly. Step by step. Day by day.
Be kind. Laugh. Love everyone.
Build a life upon that!
Holy trinity:
Kindness
Laughter
Love
Live like that for the NEXT 35 years.
Then you can decide which one you prefer or maybe a combo supersize meal of the whole enchalada. Dark + light, chaos + order.
Although you will most likely come to see that Light and Beauty and Truth and Love have no competition whatsover. They are everything. They have no opposites. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here standing on a cobblestoned street in a french village, writing this on your smart phone, waiting for the laundry!
Travelling broke is no fun. But now you know that too. So make the most of it. Get back home wiser, knowing that the next you travel will be very different. Travelling broke? Been there done that (your future self will say).
Open mics are for amateurs.
Stop going to then.
Your “musician” friends are amateurs.
Stop playing with them.
Time to get serious.
Time to go pro.