After I get all this music stuff out of the way, I would like to take a year off and work a proper job or perhaps many jobs like Bukowski in Factotum. I see a romance to that way of life. Backbreaking work, coffee breaks, asshole bosses, getting drunk on weekends with workmates. Maybe find an oilrig or a coal mine. Do they still have those? I think it would be a good test of mental strength and resolve for someone who defines those thing perhaps in an unsual manner. I know for many people this is their daily grind for 50 years which I respect because you gotta do something right? That is all they know. I wouldn’t do it for the money. I would do it as an art project. Grist for the mill. I would live in some small place and write poetry while drinking wine and smoking cigarettes. Clanking away on a typewriter and not getting enough sleep before work the next day. If you live like this, you are a master poet. I get some sense of that kind of life when i got to the gas station down the street where i live and listen to the working men with their fluorescent reflector clothes talk about mindless bullshit like who won the game or echoing a concoction of opinions they read in headlines on their news feeds. I envy their stability and work ethic, two characteristic I was not born with. Unless you consider being unpredictable and wild a form of stability in my consistency to not be anyone or anything. Or absolute dedication to the master of my craft and aristic explorations something that is beyond work or ethics. So many lives to live within one lifetime. So many characters to play, on the great stage of living. One man’s heaven is another man’s hell. How would the 9-5 working man fare in my world? How long could he go before going completely mad?
I always knew that this kind of life would not be possible for me because I had read too many rock start biographies and once you get a taste… Besides, my personality is too abstract and I get lost in these vortexes of thought that pummel me like tidal waves. This is why the electric guitar is such an attractive instrument for me because it allows me to extend who I am.