One Thing You Could Do Better
Managing my state of mind.
This would help me greatly in moving forward in life with my goals and dreams. I already know what I must do and even how I must do it. But I get bogged down by my dark moods and then have to start again. Therefore, I am seemingly forever stuck in square one. I have built a whole identity around this “forever beginner” thing to justify its existence.
There various ways I can go about tackling this issue. It’s not just a psychological problem but also spiritual.
Things to Learn About
* how to create a business out of my lifestyle
* philosophy, science, history
* mastering my mind/body/soul
* how to be at “home”, no matter where i am
* financial stability (all debts paid, passive income, successful investment, etc)
* complete healing of focal dystonia
Improve Your Habits
* to accept all the people I come acrosss, as they are
* whole food vegan
* complete abstinence from the “government” drugs of cigarettes, alcohol, caffeine (the big three)
* therapeutic use of psychedelic medicines such as LSD, dmt, mushrooms, ayhuasca, etc
* get a good grasp of formal/informal logical fallacies
* understand the epystemology of science
* steady income from music, business, investments, etc
* uniting old acquaintances (friends, family, etc)
* all health problems gone
* high on existence
Your Social Life in the Future
I would like to have a loyal group of people around me who are on a similar path of growth and discovery. We are travelling around the world as a community. We help others and learn from everyone. When times are tough, we share our troubles. When we are “winning” we share our triumph. We also know how to be alone and periodically each member of the group has to go out alone and find new people, and build a new sub-community. This will be a lifelong process.
Your Leisure Activity in the Future
In ideal lifestyle and daily routine, I would get up in the morning to do my spiritual practise and then deep work on music for 4 hours. By 12.00 noon I would have the rest of the day for leisure.
The main focus would be to further my spiritual growth. I would go on retreats and meet experts and masters of all kind. This would include tantra, yoga, meditation, but also science, philosophy, psychology, therapy, etc. I would travel around the world and go to conventions, lectures and perhaps even interview all these people and have my own show or podcast.
Eventually I will turn all this into building my community.
Your Family Life in the Future
I would like to have an open relationship. But perhaps there will be a core relationship, so that we are the “chiefs” of our tribe. We will have a castle that is full of lovers and children. Love will flow freely.
I would like to have 10 children. Half are biological (with different mothers but one core mother even if the child is not hers). And half adopted because I want to support the orphans of this world who need a home.
The children will be brought up by the community. We will all learn from each other, children and adult alike. There will be proper education from early on as well as art, play, movement and healthy use of psychedlics and other spiritual practises to open the mind and heart.
Your Career in the Future
6 months:
I would like to be living in Tenerife, new friends, new tribe, playing shows and having my own apartment with my books, instruments, costumes, etc.
2 years:
Travelling around the world with a group of musicians and entourage that will help us put on a show. We will sell our music and other merchandise at these shows to support our lifestyle. Our name will be established offline and online. I will also have some other music projects to bring my songs to the people.
5 years:
By this time I will have integrated my way of life with my music. There will be recordings and videos and books that people can get that want to immerse themselves in our world. I will have a core community established and we will have a place somewhere with music studios, spiritual rooms, education center. We will build the castle and perhaps turn this whole thing into some kind of enterprise where people from all over the world can come and heal.
Qualities You Admire
1. Osho
I really like his sense of humor and how persuasive he is with his ideas, combining different areas of life and thought. And not being afraid to say what is really going on!
2. Gary Yourofsky
His confidence and ability to bring emotion in a way that is not weak. He really drives home the urgance of the issue at hand (liberating the animals). His approach seems aggressive but if I were one of those animals stuck in a cage, I would want someone like Gary to fight for me, not some kumbaya tree hugger!
3. Jim Morrison
He once described himself as “sensitive, intelligent, with the sould of a sad clown”. The way he went to the darkside and brought it all back through his singing, poetry and movement. The rock ‘n roll shaman who died for his art.
The Ideal Future
Who do you want to be?
I want to become the Rock’n roll shaman of the world. Continue what Jim Morrison started. Integrate all the areas I’m so passionate about: music, health, dance, movement, education, personal growth, philosohpy, science, wealth, community, performance art, books, cinema, sex, truth, englightenment, psychedelics, ritual, ceremony, etc, etc.
What do you want to do?
…And turn it all into a performance. Musical. Story. My story. The story of becoming a hero, or an anti- hero. Just to spread my message of radical kindness to the world. To abolish the current global regime of capitalism. So that borders become invincible. Return the earth to its people. Liberate the individual human from his/her own bondage. Homo spiritus!
I want to just travel the world with my tribe. But we will have some permanent locations too where children can be reared or trained (adults too). It’s good to find a balance between exploration of the outer with the inner discoveries which sometimes demand to be still for longer periods. We will go to jungles, to skyscrapers, mountains, cities and wherever the path calls us.
Where do you want to end up?
Ultimately, I want to end up with the stars. To go back into the earth. When it’s time to transition from this world to the next, I want to just lie under the sky and let nature do its thing!
But before my time of dying, there is great work to be done. I want to let the process itself define me as I am, this ever changing manifestation of hope and beauty and truth. Go where the process takes me and surrend to that, may it become my God.
Why do you want these things?
This is all my road to freedom, from within and without. To liberate myself from my own shadows. I am here to suffer with a smile. The end of freedom. And then we can focus on some real shit! Mozart and Jesus and Einstein and Da Vinci will be made proud and they will wish they were still alive! Of course, they are alive with us, through us….
How to achieve all this?
It starts with this very thing I am doing now. And all the forces in my life that currently share the stage. Tarmo Urb will get my vibrations right so I can do my work. Michael Singer will help me continue my path so that I really surrender to the process. Jordan Peterson is helping me go deeeeep inside so that I truly bring light to the darkness. And of course my musical heroes who are a bottomless well of inspiration: Mark Kozelek, Josh Pearson, John Maus, Thom Yorke, Chris Martin… and of course the fallen heroes like Lennon, Hendrix, Cobain and many others.
It’s about bringing my message to the public. My songs and writings will be shared online. I will start a video blog soon to document this journey. Social media, internet and modern technology are a great tool of sharing. I will take advantage of all the tools I have at my disposal. They will bring us all together again.
When will you put your plans into action?
I am already doing it now! But next month (november) i will really take it up a notch. I will implement a new daily routine starting on November 1st. I will wake up every morning at the same time and from there I will do what I can each day to take me closer to the light.
I’m really excited about this path. It won’t be easy as nothing worthy ever is. But I know deep in my heart and soul that this is my path. It is calling me. This is the cure for my insanity! This is what makes me whole again. And invisible. Immortal. Beyond megastardom. I will become the father of all stars in the sky. I will become a God.
A Future to Avoid
There are 3 possible paths where I might end up if I don’t get my shit together and sort my life out!
1. Full blown heroin junkie
My whole life will revolve around getting my next fix. I will live in Helsinki or some other big city. All the people I once knew will have given up on me. I am pale, bloated and loveless. I just live to get high and all the people I surround myself will be just like me. My dreams of music and world peace will be a forgotten memory as I plunge another needle into my veins.
2. Salesman, Father, rivari espoossa, etc.
I will live in Finland, see all my old friends, have a good job, good wife, a few kids, I will be a good member of society, paying my taxes, voting, watching the game, enjoying my holidays with the family in spain, seeing the extended family during christmas, taking mood medicines to deal with my insanity, now and then things will get stormy, love will fade and life become grey, as the years go by… everything is just, enough. I will secretly want to break free, i will even talk about it sometimes when drunk. I might cheat on my wife here or there at office xmas parties or when going to Sweden. i will have a hobby band of friends and musicians to have some beers with and talk about the good times.
3. Stuck in between (purgatory) WHERE I AM NOW
This is the worst option of all because i am not really going anywhere. Just farting around all day, dabbling with possible paths but not really committing to anything. I quit things and then start them again. I get excited for a few days or weeks about “finally figuring it out” but i end up down and out again… and then i drown out my misery with entertainment, booze and just all this bullshit in my head. I am deeply unhappy about my body and my mind is not in harmony. My songs and dreams remain unrealized to their full potential. I carry this heavy burden of resentment and anger and hostility towards the whole world and everyone I ever knew. I can’t see a way out of all this chaos so I start fantasizing about death and figuring out how to do it. I end up in mental insitutions and try a bunch of different medications which work for a some time but for one reason or another, nothing really fixes or changes anything. I am lost and almost hopeless. Life just becomes this problem that needs to end.
| ************* Or maybe it will be some kind of combination of the above, where I’m living a double life as an addict and family man, yet secretly dream of being free and travelling the world, playing songs and building a true community.I don’t want to live like that. I want to be an example for all those that I know who are STUCK. People just seem to accept this “good enough” thing. I think all of my friends could be free. It’s all up to them. But they are trapped by society. It’s sad to see.But I have hope left for them. I will lead them. They will see the light in my eyes, they will be blinded!! The saviour is coming (of course I cant force anyone to change and some will probably never change, thats okay). And this is not about me, it’s about the EARTH. It’s about life. Good and evil. Light and darkness.That said, both are always necessary. And to some degree darkness is not the opposite of light, it is just the absence of it. |