freedom

woke up today around noon. almost slept around the clock. went to bed feeling suicidal. but upon waking i felt this lightness. i knew that there is no me. all the shit that happens only happens to something that is not even real. there is no ego. there is no self. there is only happening. yes the problems are still real but they are not happening to anyone. and they are not mine. but my face still does hurt and looks worse than ever. i also feel tired and hungover from saturday still. i went for a walk to the library and got a few books by peter singer. and a kerouac book called dharma bums. now i got potatoes boiling which i will eat a little later. i feel like taking a nap but since it’s already quite late i am going to resist it so i can sleep better through the night. freedom is a choice. at least it is for me.