fragile minds

i jump around teachers like free whores
fall in love with those i end up hating
feel this strong nurturing desire that leads to violence
down the dark road where lost souls flow
the endless flow of dark roads looking for lost souls
to feed on and to save
lights become new shadows when exposed in new lights
i crave to be comfortable in uncertainty
and this sends me straight back to the funny farm
doctors tell me to take this
i tell them i want to suffer
because suffering is the only way out of this hell
the mind is a paradox
at least mine
this person i am who has birthdays
it’s not real
just as 2 + 2 is not four
because 2 is a number of two ones
and all numbers are really just an expression
of the ultimate god thy beloved
whatever the fuck that means
it would take a great comedian to know
and give us the punchline
and these stupid how are you calls from people who think this is real
maybe it is real who knows
the point is that nobody knows
you might be a character in a teenager’s video game
but how can that help us live a happy life
let me put this way:
if you KNEW for a fact that you are a video game away from surrender
would you still keep slaving away at your dead end job?
i need a new book
new youtube video
go the shop and buy bread
eat and sleep and try not to drink
this current version of myself
is becoming extinct