dead to me

I’m not on social media because I don’t actually have any real friends. Everything about social media is fake to me, even the friends. I don’t know you. You don’t know me. So why are we pretending we do? And I don’t care about other people’s lives because I am too busy living mine. I don’t even care about famous people. To me they are all boring and plastic. I am not saying my life is more interesting, I would just rather focus on things that are not inside my computer screen. To me everything on the internet is fake. Unless you can take it with you to the real world. Like meet someone for real. Or order something. Maybe a book or CD or a new guitar or something. But as an experience, internet and streaming is just as real as anything. In that sense it is very powerful. But for someone who feels like they have no real friends (online) or fans or followers, it makes me feel incredibly worthless and more lonelier than ever to look at everyone doing so well with their hundreds and thousands of friends and likes and comments and not feel part of any of it. I dont want to be apart of it. I tried to use it to become famous or something vain but that never worked. People saw through my act. They could tell that I don’t give a fuck. That used to be cool. Now if you don’t give a fuck, you are a nobody. I walk around the streets invisible. I am a ghost. And the sad thing is that I know it can all change in a heartbeat if I were to become famous. Then all those people would suddenly see me as I am any different. They would want to talk to me and be me or be with me. Well, fuck them. If you don’t notice me know, you are dead to me forever.