Ever since I started writing songs I have been very obsessed with doing things
my own particular way. I never liked to make compromises with my songs. I have
tried working with other musicians, managers, producers, writers, designers,etc
but all those relationships came to an end because of my intuitive & obsessive
need to control things. I don’t like it when someone tries to interfere with my
creative process as I usually have a very strong and clear vision of what I want
and I know how to get it. The problem with this approach is that firstly, and
understandably, most people don’t like to be a tool in someone’s toolbox unless
they are getting paid for it. Fair enough. Just find someone else to interfere with.
Secondly, it can be a tough road finding success in the business aspects of this
thing if one is not willing to collaborate with others. Sometimes being crippled
financially can be a hindrance when it comes to making music. Then again,
struggle can be a very strong platform to build a rock solid foundation upon when
it comes to having a successful career in the long run.
Actually, now that I think of it, this “control” mentality has not just been in my
music career but has bled into my whole life in general. Ironically this is also a
rebellion against the control depicted upon me (and you) by society. I have always
doubted the significance of doing things because we have to do them, whether it’s
congratulating someone on their birthday, moving in together with so-called
“girlfriends” (or whatever the next step is supposed to be), getting a job, going to
university, having a so-called “career”, cutting the grass, changing strings on my
guitar or (and especially) making music based on some pre-defined rules/boundaries.
All these rules, obligations and responsibilities are one step away from freedom
and one step closer to slavery. It may be a useful approach for a life of (false) security
but not if, like me, you want to push yourself to the edge of your comfort zones and
create meaningful, genuine art. Although I must say, I am in a constant state of
fallibility. If I find a good idea, for a song or for my life, that is outside my normal
peripheries OR is an excuse to abandon current methods/projects/circumstances/relationships,
I will not hesitate to change, adapt, experiment, travel and follow such leads. First
and foremost, I am a hunter of inspiration, adventure, fun and excitement. Be careful
what you suggest, I just might do it… if it makes sense. Or even better, if it doesn’t.