a poem i wasn’t supposed to write

as sorrow throws a smile
i look the other way
i am a new world everyday
can’t even keep up with myself anymore
looking through walls
i see only more walls
or maybe there are no walls
maybe they are all invisible
and i was born in the spotlight
looking around as i do now
for someone to care
for someone to know me
failing to find balance
or satisfaction
in anything but madness
an urge to step away momentarily
from wherever the fuck i am