From Birth To Being

going through all demos from 2019-2023
trying to find the heart of it, best of the best
songs and ideas i record on phone
every year has its own vibe
even different parts of the year…
2020 was big for me and 2022. for some reason
this year too but still going…
2021 in its own way,
big risks and steps,
different angles
chopping the tree
with my axe.
new music keeps coming
dont quite know what to do with it.
first is the birth when it just emerges
out of nothing, through me
then if it is worth pursuing
have to learn it and understand it.
get inside it more so it is as fresh
as when it was created
otherwise it often loses that vibe,
like seeing a beautiful flower 
and wanting to take it home
so you kill it by removing it.
it is a long process to get from
song birth to songs being relaased.
lots of great stuff tho,
4-5 albums worth 
but so many different vibes
so not sure how to present it. maybe just per song and then use those
as tests to see if people even dig it.
go out to perform, travel, interact.
now been a recluse for 5 years.
love it so much, kinda dont want to leave
but i must for the sake of the songs.
they dont belong to me and need to be heard.
humanity needs more magic and beauty.
wanna go to many places,
everywhere i can.
i miss people,
meeting strangers,
unexpected situations,
falling in love.
the craziness
and performing
especially.