distractions

its all a fucking distraction
i wanna sit in an empty room
without possessions or passports
all this dust
all this stuff
i wanna give it all away
donate it to ukraine
or gaza or wherever the fuck
there is a war and there are refugees
women and children they say
rescue them let them leave
let the men stay and duke it out
41 years and i still know nothing
not even that
but all the great poets
had their time in the sun
and then left to their devices and deceptions
in the shadows
nobody can stay in the sun forever
or so it seems
had to start meditating again
nothing else feels real
now making dinner
leftovers in the microwave
mixing the new album
it is june 10th, monday 18:57
14 degrees celsius outside
had my 2nd last therapy session
few hours ago
everything is changing
all i got is my voice
my songs, my poetry
everything else
is a fucking distraction.
and i am tired of it all
internet
youtube
instagram
emails
newsletters
spotify
all this tech crap
eats away at my soul
dont need any of it
i am moving back to the big city
the big continent
where all the crazy people live
out here in the country its too quiet
i am too happy and i no longer know
the taste of defeat
i forget what its like
to miss someone
there is no romance here
everything is too certain
the city is different
and i am going there to get nailed
to a cross with midgets running around
trying to suck me off
going to the city
with my new album
wake up to find musicians
and get shows
because i gotta share
this stuff.
i am gonna real what an imposter i am
all these so-called heroes of mine
i have no idea who they are
they are impenetrable
dylan, waits, tchaik, buk, miller, cohen, townes
no idea
i am as fake as you can get
mister big time fake failure
and i am gonna go to the city
to put it all on the line
on stage with other fake fucks
we are gonna do the dance
sing our songs and make you feel
like anything is possible
all you need is fake failure
all this other stuff
is just internet woowoo nonsense
nobody cares nothing matters
all we have is this moment
our possessions are a joke
just ego trying to catch its own tale
we are no better than the other animals
we are all fools
living and dying
laughing and crying
fuck this shit
fuck it all
you’re fired
i hate you
i love you
i am at war with all my hippie friends
we believe in peace and will kill anyone
who disagrees with us
i am all my heroes
after they were forgotten
before they were even born
i am your darkest thoughts
i am a container for light
and boats on lakes with drunk poets
we are here because nothing is more fun
soon this will be over
and you wish you had
enjoyed it more.