I joined in april when I turned 40 as a present to myself. Also invested all my savings in the health equipment I needed to get going but fell off the wagon big time a few months ago. Now ready to get back at it. Started this journey 15 years ago. Keep failing but then coming back to it for some reason because I think I know I can do it.
Bought an old book from the 80s in the summer called “Raw Foodist Propaganda” by Joe Alexander which for some reason I only now started reading a few days ago along with many other health books. It has re-ignited the flame in me and so I started again watching videos of Shane, Eli, Dan McDonald, John Rose, etc.
Been eating junk food again last few months, drinking alcohol, coffee and all of it. I just stopped caring and gave up because I was weak. And I was angry at the world and at myself. I even accepted that this is just the way I am and that’s that. I will never be healthy, happy, wealthy and even if I manage to get those things somehow, I will eventually burn it all to hell and then I start romanticising that whole artist struggle and blablablaaa.
Truth is that its exhausting and incredibly lonely to live like that. And god forbid what it would be like if the world rewarded me in that state with fame, glory, success and riches. Thank the heavens I am still a nobody and I can fail privately.
Time to get back on the wagon. Whatever it takes. As long as it takes. I am always getting wiser as these shadow selves and worlds are revealed. Failure is really the great teacher if we are open to its lessons. Or just life. Whatever happens. Just bring the light and love to it. Everything is an experience. We can optimise things and make wise choices.
Restriction is a great tool. Use it to help you find the path and stay on it. I personally can tell you that the “do whatever you want, whenever you want” is a recipe for disaster. At best it will give you inconsistent bouts of creative chaos but when in that state we are too sad and dumb to even care which makes any kind of significant progress almost impossible no matter what you are doing. You become your own worst enemy. The devil or god is not some external force, it is within you!
We have been given this great opportunity. Human society is currently run by a bunch of incompetent fools who look constipated. The cities have become these enormous wastelands ruined by industrial waste in the name of profit and power. It doesn’t have to be that way.
Time to rise up children! Take back control. Get disciplined. Nobody is coming to save us. There is no big boss or leader that will propel us forward and lead us to the promised land. All the power and energy we need is in the choices we make every day and every moment. And the consious light of awareness that we bring to how we live, eat, think, move, fuck, dance and talk.
You have what it takes. You have been chosen.
Bon Voyage!