hi. been a crazy wild year so far of reckless abandon and tenderness. ups and downs. all in my head. writing and creating more than ever. floodgates wide open but also vulnerable to all kinds of demons, ghosts and evil spirits from different realms. i welcome them and befriend them. spiders and dust. applied to business school. moments of utter despair, darkness and loneliness but then followed by euphoric bliss and gratitude. not sure anyone is even reading anymore or listening to my songs. it’s not easy to believe in me or this. only the strangest persist who reflect an obsessive curiosity towards the mysterious glow of underworlds. having faith that glory and redemption awaits as the path unwinds. sometimes remembering forgotten wisdom, then forgetting again. writing a lot in my journals, poetry, secret blogs, youtube comments, etc. want to write books. don’t know how. get bored too quick and don’t like plots. songwriting better for my temperament perhaps. the music becomes the narrative backbone, lyrics the blood and guts. also reading a lot from classic self-help to novels by dan fante, italo calvino and spiritual stuff also by the great masters. trying to understand cults and enlightenment and integrity. gonna continue hibernating for another 2-3 months. plans to set sail for may and just travel and roam, play and perform. go where the path takes me. vegan again. sugar is essential nutrient. get rid of all fat in diet (no oils, just eat nuts and seeds). that is the secret code. whole foods. no bread, no alcohol, no coffee. sleeping with mouth taped shut. wake up 4-5am, go to bed 20-21pm. 22-02am is most powerful sacred healing time for human body. started boxing, really love it. feels like ballet but with violence. listening mostly to classical music. meditating first thing every morning, studying the silence, stillness and awareness. attempting to locate the inner witness and find the seat of consciousness but can never find it. there is no seeker, only seeking (or that which is seeked or seeking for me). many dimensions/perspectives. shapeshift. swashbuckle. i am nobody. only knowing. embrace the moments, whatever comes. it’s all part of the magic. everything is impermanent, especially your reactions. all tragedy and trauma is just attachment to expectations. connecting with you feels beautiful and intimate. sorry and thanks. have a wonderful day. see u soon. bye.