“Don’t Mistake the Finger Pointing at the Moon for the Moon” — Zen Buddhist Saying
I’m getting more and more interested in religion. And discarding science or at least the western reductionist materialist version of it. But I am not interested in religion as a phenomenon so much as what it is attempting to point towards. Going to the source. The unknown. God. Spirit. Existence. Infinity. Love. Embracing the idea that there is something beyond this world in my mind. So more of the spiritual aspects and less of the organizational aspects. Science, religion, spirituality, technology, etc. All just concepts and full of dogma and blood and tears and ego. I’m so sick of that. It’s just knowledge and art. Books. Ideas. Expression. As I said, I want to go to the source.
Things are changing. I’m finding less and less to hold on to. I’ve also met someone who just has made me re-examine everything. And I’ve been doing that for a long time now anyways. She’s unlike anything I’ve experienced before. We become someone else together. And when we are apart we are just… sometwos. We’re telling each other our stories and becoming apart of each others. It’s beautiful and painful at the same time but it’s also cataclysmical yet cathartic at the same time. We want to build our own planet and worship each other in our own cathedral and invent our own language and discover the first math problems ourselves. Exciting.
I’m working on new recordings. There will be a new song online wednesday evening (or earlier if possible) and another one later this week. I’m playing a show on thursday @ Clayhills. On saturday we spent the afternoon making some videos with a small film crew in Pattari prison (abandoned prison in Tallinn). Looking forward to seeing those when they are ready. We did like 4-5 songs. Different scenes. Live takes. The documentary on Sunlight Heart is also still in production.
personal challenges:
* reliance on alcohol/smoking for “spirit”
* downloading music and movies for free and not appreciating it as much
* too many possessions
* living with other people
* music practice routine
* the norms of society in how we think, dress, speak, sing, fuck, work, play, etc.
* pushing the boundaries –> seeing what I can get away with and how far I can go.
* kindness, compassion, empathy, honesty, stability
I’m not using FB anymore for personal messaging. I prefer just good ol’ emails.
You can reach me here: markusrafaelnylund@gmail.com
I’ll check it now and then and of course update this page with new songs, current thoughts, and other worthy updates. I guess this is just another thing that becomes an opportunity to practice some self-discipline.
I’ve been drinking for so many days I cant sleep tonight. Definitely need a little break. My body does. My mind does. My soul does. I’m gonna go find some food somewhere. Maybe I’ll hunt down a star in the sky and surrender to the moonlight.
Reading a fantastic book called Unbearable Lightness of Being. If I could write half-as good, I would quit music and just be a writer. Listening to the new album “Time Is A Machine” by a band called Listener. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzj6YHxr2xg.
I think my songs are my salvation. Somehow I’ve had the answers for longer than I now realize.
Enjoy the week. Feel free to comment if you have something to say. I’m just a human being stuck in the perils of time. I have a lot to say on many things but really I barely know no thing. And that brings me back to where I began.
To go beyond the known.
– Markus
PS. I decided that I am going to go to music academy and study classical music. Composition. I want to compose and conduct symphonies. Then I will use my full name which is what it has been waiting for. But for this I must take the next year to train and prepare so I get in. I want to stay in Tallinn and study here. At least it’s an option.
