rest week

had to take a week off
my usual routine
but it’s been the most difficult thing
not getting my usual kicks
the adrenaline, the testosterone
and the holy fire
instead i’ve just stayed home
no gym, no guitar, no people
and a little low on calories
because my finances are in dire straits
forced me to do a lot of soul searching
who am i, what do i want, why am i here
the usual questions for a man
on the brink of a breakthrough
or complete breakdown
hard to tell which these days
been feeling suicidal
thank god the week is almost over
it’s saturday night
i’m watching movies
in a fasted state
tomorrow morning gonna eat watermelon
and then on monday get back into the war
record my songs, hit the gym hard
listen to all the new music released this year
get my mind and body back into the game
this week was fucking hard but crucial
i needed the rest, needed to decompress
it was the ultimate test
lost my faith in the future these last few days
but tonight i imagined my funeral and shed a few tears
pulled back amongst the living
i know that normal folk dont live like this
because they dont have the safety net of art
i just gotta get my damn songs
out there into the webispheres
to the people, my people
give them something to make their spines shiver
and their hearts quiver
it’s almost midnight
i’m hungry as fuck
i know what i gotta do to get what i want
to be the man the world is waiting for
hollywood is dead, new york city is dead
the world is a new place
everything is beginning again
a chance to start all over
find my woman
she’s out there somewhere
i can feel you honey
maybe all these songs are a bridge
for us
one day we will be here
me singing to you
you knowing that this is happening
and because of my rest week
these words found a home