god damn it

wish i could affort a new macbook pro
because my late 2011 is too old for the logic pro x 90 day trial
and i torrented some older versions
but kept on crashing
computer would just restart when i tried to open it
god damn it
and now apparently apple is creating their own hardware
so the current machines on the market
will no longer get updated after their own stuff is released
life is so hard
meanwhile in other parts of the world
kids are starving and people are dying of corona and stuff
i just have my fancy musician problems
this is like life or death for me
maybe poor people should stop pro creatin’?
maybe everyone should
might solve all our ecological and egological problems
but hey
at least i still got garageband
and i actually think its pretty good
but i would feel more pro if i could use logix pro x
on my late 2011 macbook pro
god damn it
gotta admit though
i been looking at that imac pro which costs like six thousand euros
i have no idea how i could buy that
considering i am living on government benefits
havent had a real job since 2006
since then been doing the music thing
travelling around playing shows and busking
made a few albums and got some funding for those
but because i am such a moody fucker
i sabotaged all the opportunities i did have
and anyways, i wasn’t ready or good enough
i didn’t know what that even means or what i could be
now i know
so there’s that
but god damn it
i wish i had ten grand
to buy that imac pro
get logic pro x
native instruments digital piano
new guitar
maybe an acoustic piano for my apartment
some good mics
have a great home studio
and also final cut pro and a good camera
start making videos
just gotta do with garageband for now
i am 37 and stuck on square one
although my musician skills are getting higher and higher
and creating songs and stuff
i am good at that
just don’t have the resources or equipment to optimize
then again, what did robert johnson have
or kurt cobain
we all have the same shit
three chords and the truth
stop worrying about this hifi pro stuff
nobody cares
or most people dont
or become a lifecoach or something
get a job
work long hard hours
save your cash
my credit score is fucked
god damn it
i know i can do this
you can do it
i know i can
yes you can
so do it
now
every day
discipline
obsession
sacrifice
some great songs and catchy vids
build a fanbase online
at some point ask your fans if they can help you out
how many people do we need to get 10k together
lets see
10k divided by 1000 people is
10 euros
so 1000 fans give me ten euros to get the equipment i need
that is doable
possible
i can already feel it
that new imac pro home delivered
maybe by then apple will have their own hardware
and my crypto investments will have skyrocketed…
go bitcoin go
go ripple go
go litecoin go
go whatever coin i forget go
ok i better get back to making music
with garageband
and i also got a zoom h5
ok bye