the cry of partners

hello someone somewhere
i am writing to you from
a concrete building in a city
near the border of russia
when i press the keys on my computer
it makes a soft plastic sound
almost like an insect dancing
i can hear the hum of traffic
somewhere with someone in cars
going to visit people and buy food
or maybe they are lost
and needed to bang doors and leave lovers
i see people in their windows
soon nothing will be left of this world
although soon is different for each of us
time changes and plays games
because depending on when you die
everything becomes magnified
or decompressed
so consider this message
as a sort of lighthouse
i write best the worse i feel
because then i need these words
to comfort me and bring me some joy
otherwise my words get a bit lazy
i met this girl lately
but we have been going in and out
of dreams and fantasies
a few weeks ago she was calling me sweet names
but now i feel like an intruder
it’s a terrible feeling
to miss someone
who doesn’t miss you
maybe there is nothing worse
i don’t know
so i breathe deep
and survive the days
remind myself that others
are going through their own stuff too
but it’s hard old friend
from the first line of this poem
now we are here
near the end
where we go from here
god only knows
if only
i knew god