FUN GUN

deleted everything again
also shaved my beard and cut my hair
this year i tried returning to my home city
thought maybe that could work somehow
it didn’t and i am not gonna stay
need to keep travelling and exploring
Finland is stable and clean
tap water is good, supermarkets full of clean food
taxes are high and everything is expensive
the people are honest and hard working and full of heart and soul
but almost everyone is basically an alcoholic or some other drug to get by 
and most of them accept this as normal and nobody wants to talk about it
it’s not normal, you are avoiding reality
it can be fun now and then but i think it’s a shallow way to live
and you wont die happy this way
just look around
sorry but i don’t want to live like that and i cant even afford it 
maybe being poor and unknown and unsuccessful is my secret saviour
maybe that is why i always destroy everything i create
to protect myself from all that madness
because a life like that would corrupt me and destroy me
2020
(new decade)
new identity
new life
new ways
new scenes
new friends
i want to become a life coach and help people
i want to learn about jesus and why they nailed the guy to a cross
he must’ve been a real threat to society… 
and then they reset time because of him!
so who was he? why was he such a threat?
his truth must’ve been pretty radical…
i want to dance and play
just wander the world, fully alive and free
write and create and interact and help and serve
meet new people and really be present with them
if someone feels the same, you are welcome to join me
i travel without plans, without maps, no direction home
there is only now
i don’t believe in future plans, goals, dreams or possessions
dreams are for sleep, possessions are for greed
rules are for slaves
world citizen forever!
(finland and syria are on the same planet so it’s all just micro/macro thinking)
i also don’t want to look at these screens anymore
they are POISON for the mind
And yes, it’s a luxury to think like this when coming from a western country but such is life! It would be foolish to think that this is all there is to hope for. To just ignore the rest of the world while we buy bigger houses and faster cars (i want neither). There is much more depth on offer.
Galaxies within and without.
You probably don’t believe me. 
I get it, i was once like that too.
Lost in the dark and even thought maybe this is all there is.
When you are ready to know more about what i am talking about, here are some suggestions: (google is your friend)
* Spiral Dynamics
* Kriya Yoga
* Integral Theory
these ideas are not for you if you are just content with what you got and don’t want to go further and if you believe in the capitalist dream or if you think i have lost it completely. Good for you. Stay in the cave. But if you are like me, you want to know what is out there… maybe you have heard of what is possible in the clues left behind by the great prophets, poets, mystics and artists. At the end of the day, you live in Jesus time and get married in his churches (although i don’t think Jesus would’ve approved). Why is that?
Maybe it would be worth knowing a little more about the guy. 
Everyone celebrates xmas but nobody knows why.
It could just be my viking explorer genes. 
I also don’t think i ever left childhood curiosity behind.
And that need to play and feel real joy without drugs/stimulants.
Or it could my wandering poet genes. 
Who knows… or maybe i am some kind of prophet.
Or maybe i’m just an idiot who’s bored.
Remember,
Fun Is The Gun