LET CHAOS EXPLODE

i can look at the world right now just before the new decade and see what is wrong in pop music and modern life. i could go down so many roads. i could follow the fear. that inner confusion and drown myself in drink and drugs. i’m sure i would meet a lot of great people that way too. maybe we can all go to rehab together. just like in the movies.
i can also just admire the beauty of all this effort. even music i don’t like or people walking by who are neither here nor there. you can go to any city or town or village. it’s pretty much the same. and different. all the previous moments led us to this one.
i want to bring freedom to this experience and curiosity to go with those inner tides. i want to be more kind and graceful regarding that process. and grateful in appreciating that i get to take part in it.
even now as i shift my awareness to all that, it is a bit unpleasant. there is this heaviness in my body and i kind of want to kill it somehow and distract myself with people and my books and songs and practising guitar and going to the gym and writing poetry and doing stuff on the internet. i want to go into my distractions and wake up there when it’s too hot and chaos wants to explode.