fuck this and fuck you

dont like the way i feel right now
wish i could find a door
please let me out
going around old patterns
i want out but i want this pain too
it makes me feel good in some sick way
to feed the hatred and the erotic violence
like a million devils laughing at a million angels screaming
oh the horror and the beauty of it all
i want it to stop
but i want it to go on
fuck you mister markus
eat shit and die
like jesus fucking christ what the hell are you even doing
you know you are better than this
this is not the way man
wanna get high and escape
no fucker you want what the high will give you
you just want something you dont have
you want to feel love and freedom
liberation from this madness
that is what you want
but drugs and all that shit will only take you farther away
this is so stupid and simple and cliche
you are a fucking joke
you read all that bullshit and it doesn’t work
it is just another drug
for the mind to be distracted
at least real drugs will cause you to get out there and hustle