Knowing what I need

I took me a long time to really know myself and know what I want and what I need, to be at my best. There’s no point trying to be someone I am not. This doesn’t mean I cannot change and grow but I do think it’s important to have some kind of grounded self from which to live from. 

For the last 10+ years I’ve dabbled in all kinds of methods, diets, therapies, drugs, and ways to live in this world. I’ve travelled around. I’ve been in relationships. I’ve read lots of books. I have written a lot in my personal journals and songs and blogs and social media. It’s all been a fun experience and probably helped me more than I can really grasp. 

I need music around me. And people who are not like me but at least somewhat similar. Otherwise social interaction becomes incredibly stressful and draining. I don’t want to constantly explain myself to people. Or listen to people judging me because I am so different from their idea of what normal is. 

I don’t like routine. Or clocks. Unless they are used for practising music as in metronomes or timers. I don’t think it matters what time we wake up or when we go to bed. All that circadian rhythm stuff is bullshit. Our bodies don’t have inner clocks. What we need is good, regular sleep and long enough so when we wake up we are not tired anymore. That can change on a daily basis depending on activity levels and intensity. 

Some routine is good but not too much. It’s okay to have a general idea and focus in life. Mine is to build an online business and achieve complete financial independence so I can do what I want, when I want, where I want and with whom I want. I intend to create a system that is not dependent on me. That is true entrepreneurship.

I used to be this moral crusader type. Not anymore. I don’t have the personality for it. Things bother me too much (especially people when I get too close to them). It’s easier to just ignore morality. Follow the rules just enough to not go to jail. But otherwise I basically live as an outlaw. 

I get that we have taxes and social democracy and all that. It helps artists like me not waste time in mindless jobs. It provides a certain base for society to function from. As long as it is not too much. Right now here in Finland, the system is somewhat stable but I think it’s too bureaucratic and messy. I’m grateful to be from Finland, I think it’s one of the best countries in the world. 

The whole universal basic income I am no so sure about. The name is often misleading as what people are talking about is actually national basic income. But a basic income for everyone on earth? I don’t really see that happening any time soon. The people who focus on it too much are probably the ones who deserve it the least.

Money is important. To have enough. That changes for everyone. Pointless consumerism is not healthy. Speaking of which, health. 

Just take care of the basics. Sleep. Exercise. Water. Fruits. Veggies. Wild meat. Minimise the junk food and processed crap. Have a pizza now and then if you like it so much. If your main thing in life is stressing about your diet, you need to get a life. It’s not that hard. 

Taking care of my body. I like looking good. I like fashion. I like beauty. I love porn. I love women who take care of themselves. That is my type. Flabby fat fucks are lazy and greedy and I don’t understand how they can look in the mirror and live with themselves. 

Relationships. It’s good to have some companionship around. I haven’t really figured out what the best model is yet for me. I really like being alone and having my own space. I don’t even want to think about kids for at least 5 years. I have more important shit to do. And intimate relationships are awful. I fucking hate living with a girl/woman (or anyone). They all drive me nuts after about two weeks. 

What else? 

Have a project. Something you can create and develop. That demands YOU to develop. I am an artist and entrepreneur. I don’t work for others, others work for me. I don’t like collaborating either. I get that it can be more effective if you find a great partner and I may be open to it more in the future but I am now focused on creating my own stuff and I need to hire the best people I can find to do what needs to get done. If they need some creative freedom to be at their best then that is all a matter of negotiation. 

Writing is useful for me to get my thoughts out. Get my head in order. Sometimes I enjoy it. But on some days like today, I hate it. Every thought I produce feels pointless. 

Although I don’t think I’m (always) that great at it. I find an idea I love and after two paragraphs it bores the fuck out of me. I am more of a poet than someone who can write about a topic. My mind is always going in a million directions like a great drum solo. Maybe there is a market for this kind of writing. I guess that’s why you are reading this shit 

I’m not really feeling inspired by this post so I’m just gonna leave it at that. Gonna eat pancakes and watch Vikings.