In 2005 you read a book called The Game by Neil Strauss because you had been a fan of his previous books as a ghost writer for rock star autobiographies. This time Neil tried something completely different.
He was a successful author and masterful word crafstman, writing for Rolling Stone and interviewing famous people. But somehow he was still a balding, out-of-shape loser and couldn’t get a girl if his life depended on it. He sought help and discovered this underground society of womanisers called pick-up artists. These guys taught other lonely men the secrets of seducing women. Neil immersed himself so much into this underworld that not only did he write his most popular book, he transformed himself in the process and became a pick-up artist himself!
It was a fascinating read. You were 22 and the night was quiet as you divulged into Herr Strauss’ new opus. The moon was out. Birds were sitting on branches somewhere, shitting and thinking about their next worm. Scientists were studying far away galaxies and George the jungle W. Bush was still sitting on the iron throne of the free world wondering what the hell is he doing there. You were reading The Game and for the first time came across this novel idea (for you) that “change is possible”. If you have problems, you can change. You can transform yourself. You can create a new identity. You were no longer stuck within the life you had been given. You could take control of your personality, your relationships, your finances and not just wait for fame and glory to come knocking at your door (which was your original plan of no-attack until life beat the crap out of you).
It was definitely one of those your-life-before-and-after kind of books. You even realised that although you were a fairly handsome young man and even had a few girlfriends by then, you weren’t that great with attracting the opposite sex either. You were weak and submissive. You wondered how some of your male friends were so proficient at this and it all seemed so natural for them. They just had this masculine energy and hunger. The walked around like cowboys. You wanted abundance in all this too but you were more interested in getting drunk and practising your guitar so it was never really something you thought about too much (again you assumed no-attack plan would suffice). Yet it had always been somewhat of a frustrating and embarrassing experience to be around, not just girls, but people in general. People made you very anxious. Alcohol and Metallica helped. From your earliest memories, you had always felt ashamed of your sensitivity. You would eventually evolve into the kind of person for whom none of these issues were no longer a concern. Those days were still far in the future.
What really opened your eyes in the book however, was not really the methods of seducing women but the introductions to classic self-help and spiritual books like I Am That and motivational gurus like Tony Robbins who would have a huge impact on your life as well. You had no idea that there were really people like this in the world. The whole pick-up artist thing seemed kind of silly but the idea of improving your own self, mind, behaviour and body to become a better person overall (and as a bonus, attract more female apes) was inspiring.
The book also heavily addressed an issue that was already expressed many years earlier in the cult-hit film Fight Club, a similarity that no doubt added to the book’s (and film’s) popularity. The issue of masculinity in modern culture. Male role models. Domineering alpha figures in the media, politics, school and home. Or lack thereof. (You decide to write more about this in a future post because it’s such a big topic).
Overall it was a hilarious, incredibly well written, brutally honest book and opened a new chapter in your life. You briefly went down the seduction guru rabbit hole but found it to be a dead end where “the masses had elevated rich fools into heroes”. But there was a deeper message there that you’re not even sure if the author fully understood, as he also became one of those gurus with questionable marketing tactics for some big dollars. He became very successful and continued his excellent writing while the other gurus came and went like and ice storm in the middle of July. Luckily you could never afford their expensive products and seminars so just scourged the internet for free info, some of it useful, some of it counter-productive and potentially even dangerous.
You wonder why you suddenly decided to write about this and then remembered what you were supposed to write about: positive mental attitude. You started to think about how you even started down that road and then you remembered The Game. You want to thank Neil. Thanks Neil. Maybe one day you will read this. Drop me a line.
Positive mental attitude (PMA) post coming next. And masculinity after that. So much to write about. You are grateful that time is on your side.