I write here because I have important things to say to you. For me, speaking about my thoughts is much more challenging then writing them down privately. However, how this information reaches you, is unimportant. I apologize to those that know me but have not heard from me personally. I will not lie to you or make excuses about why you haven’t heard from me. I will also try to not lie or make excuses to myself about anything. This can be very hard sometimes. Life can be very hard sometimes.
In the following, I will write a very honest portrayal of my life, right now. I will also write about what has been happening in my life as of late. Again, to those who have not heard from me, I apologize but for now this is probably the best you will get. To whom I choose to respond and share my stories with personally is a very selected few and there are reasons for this. It is also impossible to keep in touch with so many people who I have met in my travels. You have all been great and I cherish memories of time spent and fun had.
I lived in Dublin, Ireland for 3 months between March and June. I lived that whole time in a hostel. While there I played my own music on the streets, in the singer-songwriter nights at some bars, coffeeshops and to get a free night to sleep, at the hostel. For the last year I have travelled to Finland back and forth to play on a cruiseship for a week. It pays well and has basically enabled me to live without having a day job. Of course I also make some money on the streets and selling my album at shows and wherever I can. It’s fun to play music for a living. It is also easy to make money as a musician when you can play. Making money as an artist is a whole different world. It is also the world where my passion truly lies. I want to succeed. I consider myself to be a very good songwriter and the guitar playing and singing is always getting better and better. But the road to success as an artist is a steep hill. I tread it carefully but eagerly awaiting for all the great stuff that it brings.
I continue to write songs when they are to be written. The album was released a year ago. I have so far not seeked any help to promote or distribute it. I sell it personally and it is still a proud achievement for me. I know some who love it and others who probably don’t think much of it. The praise is usually said out loud or in emails. The disapproval is communicated through the hesitancy to comment about it. That is okay, I respect everyone’s opinion. But the next album will be even better in every way. For that though, I do need help. These things cost and to make music (like all things these days), comes with a price. Luckily I have already got a manager and he will guide me and help me find the right kind of deal. I refuse to talk too much about the business side of things because it is not relevant right now.
In the summer we recorded some new songs in Dublin, which you can download from the bottom of this page. My goal for the next 2 years is to get a band around me, record another album, and get a recording contract but all of them have to be just right for me. I will not compromise my art in any uneccessary way or let anybody take advantage of me. I do finally accept that by sharing my music with people is a certain kind of compromise. You, dear listener, are apart of my world when you listen to me sing and play. Again, all this takes time. True success does not happen quickly. The ultimate goal as an artist for me is to be able to write, record and perform music the way I want to, without restrictions or limits. This is something that not many artists have achieved. The ones that have achieved that freedom, have my deepest admiration.
My personal life has been a rocky road this year. Most of the rockiness comes simply from my own mind. I quit drinking for 4 months because I started to feel like it was getting the best of me. I don’t know if that was really true but it is also a very expensive and time consuming hobby. For me, it gets out of control sometimes. I want to know how to control it more and see if I can. I don’t think i’m an alcooholic any more than many people I know who drink a lot which is quite a regular thing where I come from. Drinking is fun though and it does bring out the crazy, adventure seeking comedian in me. I do wish that I could learn to bring that person out without the drug.
Another thing I quit and which I have no plans to start again is eating meat. I am now a vegetarian and the topic interests me greatly. The more I read about it the more I am convinced how much better it is, not just for our own well being but the well being of the whole earth, to no eat meat. My advice to you, look into it. Ask yourself questions about the food you put into your mouth. Most people have no clue where it comes from and how. I was surprised how little I knew.
Some of you are already aware of my position on religion. I think it is also something which we should question. To me, it is unneccessary in this day and age – among many other things of course. It is a false comfort. It is wrong and evil. It insults the very things that life is about for me. Yes there can be great inspiration drawn from the great religious works, rituals, etc but they are literature and art as any other. There is no god, there is no heaven. Nature just is what it is and it does not need one of it’s animals running around thinking that some super being created it all. Again, many people don’t even think about these things and are quick to judge. Don’t pretend to know too much about that which you don’t. I admit I am still learning and doing research on the issues and if I were to find out that I am wrong, I would admit it right away. Please try not to misunderstand me when I say that my fight is not with the religious beings but with the religion virus which contaminates so many. Every muslim, jew, buddhist, christian, etc I have equal respect for. The enemy is the doctrine. As John Lennon sang “God is a concept by which we measure our pain”. Of course I am aware that Lennon was also living/dying proof that by taking a stand on these issues can be a very dangerous thing. I wish you could say that things have changed in the 28 years since his death.
I actually often fall into the trap of criticizing things i don’t understand. The way we see society and this world is a reflection of our inner selves. You cannot expect to find peace and harmony on the outside if your inner world is in turmoil. There is no one to blame. We are individuals and we must build our lives into the way we want them to be. That is what life is about. Being angry about the past or about the evils which are happening always and everyday is a useless way to exist. It is only important to constantly learn about how this life works and being aware of why certain things happen the way they do. You can always start again, live better, be better. There is so much beauty in this world, in our universe. Nature is fiercely intelligent. It does not know what cruelty or violence or any other words we humans have created and given meaning to. Nature simply and very elegantly, is. We have created laws and politics so that we can control our lifestyle and our power. The human brain is a very complex machine and nobody is taught what it really means to have the abilities we have. It is a truly remarkable thing.
Lately I have been listening to a lot of John Lennon’s first two albums as well as Harrison’s and McCartney’s first albums. I think when The Beatles split up was a very big change for these guys and it inspired some great music. It still amazes me how you can have three guys like that in the same band! I also really love Bob Dylan’s Blood On The Tracks album. There is so much music out there to discover. It’s nice to listen to the older stuff because it’s like travelling back in time. As for this year, there was an album released which has to be one of the greatest achievements in music history. It was made by a band called Coldplay and the album is called Viva La Vida or Death And All His Friends. The autumn brings new albums by some of my favourites; Metallica, Ray LaMontagne, Keane and one of my favourite bands (and one of the most underrated and surprisingly quite unknown) Mew are recording their next album. Wow!
Sometimes my desires and fears get the best of me. Sometimes they take me down into some dark and cold places. They use my body to try to unleash fury on people around me. My mouth is their voice and my empty gaze their sight. Sometimes I am in prison with no windows, no light, no air. Sometimes I am overcome with greed, hatred, anger. I do not fully understand all the reasons behind this but I am more motivated than ever to understand more and more. But through the deep sorrows and struggles I seem to find the deepest states of calmness and peace. All this is apart of who I am. Without suffering there is no pleasure. As long as we control our fears and desires, not letting them control us, it is okay to have them. Maybe true freedom and happiness comes when we can rid ourselves completely of them. Maybe the desire for pleasure breeds the fear of pain. Maybe detachment is ultimate bliss. I do not know. I do know that I don’t want to treat anybody badly. I admire everyone and have compassion for everyone’s problems. Even the assholes and jerks we occasionally come across. I want to feel joy for another’s success and sadness for another’s pain. Nobody is perfect. Our parents, relatives, friends are just people who deal with their own stuff as much as they want to raise us and be there for us and love us. We each live our own lives though we live together. We are alone together. We are all unique yet we are the same.
My days are divided into two parts; sleeping and being awake. I have 16 hours to be awake. In that time I try to do eight things each for two hours. Exercise (yoga, running, swimming, stretching, meditation), eating, playing music, watch a film, read stuff, listen to music, socialize, free time. It’s all about the mind, the body and the soul. I just try to improve my self in all areas constantly and find the balance. On the weekends i’m free to do whatever. I divide my life into four phases. Growing, studying, family, truth. I am currently in the studying phase. I will explain this more some other time.
Tomorrow is the first day of September. It is a new beginning for me and I will try to be an even better person and get more in touch with the greatness that I know is already inside me. The closer I get, the more powerful I become. The more powerful I become the more I can shine the light on my brothers, sisters, friends, mothers, fathers, cousins, and lovers which walk this earth with me. The future awaits.
About the website, we are still developing it. The plan is to make it an interactive experience. I will be in Dublin in a week and go to some meetings with web designers that my manager has found for me. I hope to get it up as soon as possible. I am excited to embrace the world of internet and do something cool with it. No myspace or facebook for me. I don’t like them for many reasons.
Everything I have written here comes out in the songs I sing. Everything I am is in those melodies and words and rhythms and harmonies and sounds. Music is my language.
If you want to say hi to me or order my album or want a job, send me an email. Thank you for reading. Enjoy the journey with me. Become apart of the Markus Nylund organization.
Actually, you already are.