7 Years of Trial & Error – Markus Nylund

It’s a long process. So long. It almost lasts forever. Decision. Indecision. Indecisive decision. Decisive indecision. Rocky roads. Floods. Obstacle courses. Broken bones. Shattered hearts. Fantasy lands made of glass and built on sand. Soft sand. The kind you want to lay in and forget about the world. The kind that is like a love that is too far away. Sand so soft you just can’t hold on to it. They say it takes 10 years. I’m at 7. They never told me what I now know for certain. That 10 years is just the removal of pretence. Stripping away layers. Filtering out excess baggage. Trimming the fat. It’s also a test. A test of endurance, of determination and most importantly diligence. The craft is just the mechanics. The motor skills. Anybody can do that. That’s the toolbox. The colours. The letters. The sounds. And don’t underestimate artists who have broken through to the other side. The other side can be a fertile ground for a long time. But eventually the artist must break back into the original side. And then break through again. To give up. And then start again. To sacrifice everything. Or live a life of settling for what we have which is tragically and exactly the anatomy of happiness. But what the hell do I know. I’m only at 7 years. Before that I was just flirting and stuck in my dreams for like 6 years. Of course I began even before that. Long before. In all honesty, it’s more like 20 years now. Since I made the first mistake. The first note. The first taste. Actually it began even before that. Long before. When I heard and saw and spoke and learned to enjoy. Now it’s too late to go back and unlearn. My brain has evolved around a bottomless desire to experience and express something that has no name. I should be a professor. A professor who teaches his students first to get the hell out of the classroom and go out into the world to fail for 10 years and then come back for the next lesson.

So where am I now? Where am I going? And why are you reading this?

Decided to go back to the original plan. Sorry for the confusion. Sorry for the long paragraphs. And the long letters at 5am. Sorry for the promises and the apologies. Sorry for the drastic u-torns in black-ice-rush-hour traffic. Sorry for selling you sprite and giving you coca-cola. Sorry for being sorry. Sorry for this…
Sunlight Heart.

It’s just me and my songs. Friends and lovers will come and go. Fans and followers will hang around until they find a new channel, a new tattoo. I’m just a guy who makes music and writes overly-long posts online. I’m just a guy who wants to find gold. I’m just a guy who sails around with his lonely ship to find some good times.

But maybe you will stay. And for once… just once. Listen to what I have to say.
The fruits of my labor are beginning to show.
I’m getting closer.

And the closer I get… the more you will understand why things had to play out as they did.

My new song “Neverending War” will be online this week. It is a catchy whistleable pop song about the great struggle we dreamers go through every day when we allow ourselves to dream.