Sep 27, 2009

sorry friends
no more pretending
to be something
I am not

I am still here
I haven’t disappeared

I just can’t be apart of anybody’s life right now

I have a mission

I have to focus completely on it

no more blogs
no more facebook
no more myspace
no more throwaway acoustic songs
no more cute little emails
no more opening myself to everyone or anyone
no more secrets
no more bullshit
no more idealizing
no more fantasizing
no more calling things something they are not

the rest of the year is dedicated to everything I have been living this life for

next year you will know why everything had to happen the way it did

I will spend the next 3 months quietly
building energy
hanging out with only my closest friends and family
finding the balance
having a few drinks now and then
continuing to work on myself and sharpen my skills
strengthen my weaknesses
fix the broken parts
get a simple job to pay the bills

live my life as it is
not as it was
not as it could be

right here, right now
and the rise of Awe
the rebirth of rock n’ roll
for the 21st century
that’s all I care about

I’m interested in real relationships
I want to touch
I want to smell
I want to hear
I want to feel

no more bits and bytes and data

if you want to talk to me, you can call me
or send me email
I am here if you need me
or come visit me
everyone is welcome

I know my real friends and brothers and sisters I have met and connected with will at least try to understand this

you know who you are

I have a story to tell
one day all will be revealed
perhaps then you will better understand
why life for me is often such a tragedy
such an intense experience
but why tragedy and struggle has made me who I am

someone who seems to demands from himself
much more than he can give
but who knows he can give it nevertheless
who knows he can be
something that is more than him

if you are reading this you are apart of my inner circle
the circle will soon be closed
forever

the music will speak all there is to say

that’s all

I feel good
I feel strong

all the best